The Gateway (2003-10-30)

SHE’S THE FIRESTARTER, TWISTED FIRESTARTER Today’s feature has nothing to do with Prodigy songs, but it has everything to do with ghost stories. Page 12.

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AADAC offers grants to reduce
smoking among young adults

CAITLIN CRAWSHAW

Associate News Editor

Seeking to decrease the percentage of
young adult smokers, the Alberta Drug
and Alcohol Commission (AADAC) is
offering a number of grants to local
groups with ideas for tobacco reduc-
tion within this demographic.

The grants are designed to target
18-24 year olds, as the rate of smoking
for Albertans in this age group is cur-
rently at 30 per cent, much higher than
the provincial average of 23 per cent.
Each grant may be up to $50 000, and
will provide twelve months of funding
for each successful organization.

“We're really trying to focus on
18-24 because we know the highest
level of smoking is among that age
group, and it’s a group that hasn't
been targeted by tobacco reduction
programs and messaging yet. But as
you know, they're definitely a target of
tobacco industry marketing,” said Becky
Freeman, program consultant with
AADAC’s Tobacco Reduction Unit.

Freeman added that this is a new
area for AADAC, which has funded
education programs for youth and
adults, but has not yet focused on
young adults.

“We're quite excited to see what
kinds of programs we ll get. I'm hoping
that people will be quite innovative

1 It’s
Halloween

weekend. Do you

Inside

and creative in how they'll approach
it,” said Freeman.

According to Freeman, AADAC has
not set a limit to the number of initia-
tives it will fund, and will decide on
a case-by-case basis. Groups have until
17 November to submit proposals.

“We're quite excited to
see what kinds of
programs we'll get. 'm
hoping that people will
be quite innovative and
creative in how they'll
approach it.”

BECKY FREEMAN,
PROGRAM CONSULTANT,
AADAC TOBACCO REDUCTION UNIT

Freeman added that the tobacco
reduction strategies selected for grants
may be quite diverse.

“If people want to do some policy
work, some awareness building, or
cessation programming, we're really
looking at any kind of program that
will help smokers quit or prevent non-
smokers from starting or increase peo-
ple’s awareness about tobacco industry
marketing,” she said.

PLEASE SEE AADAC ¢ PAGE 3

Outside

Thursday Sun and cloud, Poor

Ae oe News 1-4 | Brad Pitt’s too dreamy to live; High -8, Low -10
on 85P Opinion 6-10 | Friday Cloud and sun, who knew Tom was a

ae at? Check out Features 12-13 sucker for gents in tights? High -2, Low-15

today's A&E sec es 14-16 Saturday Sun and cloud, Uh oh! Brad’s feeding

tion and find out ports . on rats again; High 1, Low-9

about the A&E 17-20 Sunday Flurries, You gotta feel sympathy for the

spookiest hauntsin | Comics 22-23 | handsome devils; High 1, Low-7

E-town. Classifieds = 24 | Source:Environment Canada

SHAWN BENBOW

thursday, 30 october, 2003

Day of Action
teaches
about Bill 43

COSANNA PRESTON

Associate News Editor

Despite the cold weather and fresh
snow, there was along lineup of people
in Quad yesterday holding black pam-
phlets and waiting for free food.

The SU partook in a province-wide
Day of Action on Wednesday, offering
free burgers and a pop to any student
willing to stand in the cold and read
literature on Bill 43 while they waited
for their food.

The Day of Action, organized by
the Alberta Postsecondary Student
Alliance, was supported by all postsec-
ondary institutions in the province.

Colleges, technical institutes, and uni-
versities held demonstrations to show
their displeasure with Bill 43, or the
Alberta Postsecondary Learning Act.

“Really we are trying to let people
know what [Bill 43] is and trying to
let them draw their own conclusions.
It is fairly apparent when the govern-
ment does something like remove the
tuition cap what the intent is, so we're
just trying to raise awareness,” said
Mat Brechtel, Students’ Union presi-
dent.

PLEASE SEE BILL43 ¢ PAGE 3

Copps urges students to get involved

KRISTINE OWRAM

News Editor

Canadian Heritage Minister Sheila
Copps was on campus Monday to
encourage students to get involved in
political activism while they are still
young.

Speaking to small but eager group
of University of Alberta students
in Myer Horowitz Theatre, Copps
opened her interactive talk with a
quote from Sir Winston Churchill:
“Any man who is under 30 and is not
a liberal has no heart, and any man
who is over 30 and is not a conserva-
tive has no brains.”

“Just as Churchill said, my evolu-
tion has been more a factor of age
than of party conformity,” she said,
explaining how she used to be a polit-
ical activist as a vice-president at the
University of Western Ontario's stu-
dent government.

After noticing there were no women
sitting in the front row of the audito-
rium, she encouraged the female stu-
dents in the audience to move forward
and engage in discussion with her
about equality of women in Canadian
society.

“Currently, only three per cent of
heads of boards of directors in this
country are female, and women have
only been equal before the law in
Canada since 1952, the year I was

From the archives

Disarmament of nuclear weapons was the goal of a student
group called Combined University Campaign for Nuclear
Disarmament (CUCND). The group distributed material

on the global destruction caused by nuclear weapons.
They hoped to convince Canada to publicly denounce the
weapons in order to demonstrate that Canada truly was a
peacemaker. CUCND hoped they could
pressure the two world superpowers

into disarmament.

“Education should be
universally accessible.
The separation point
shouldn't be the size of
your wallet; it should
be your intellectual
capacity.”

SHEILA COPPS,
CANADIAN HERITAGE MINISTER

born,” she said. “Why is it that in
a country where people place such
importance on equality, no one is talk-
ing about this?”

Copps explained to the audience
that placing value on education is the
first step to creating an egalitarian
society.

“Education should be universally
accessible,” she said. “The separation
point shouldn't be the size of your
wallet; it should be your intellectual
capacity.”

PLEASE SEE COPPS # PAGE 2

Correction

rial ‘charges’ Chinese

he Gateway, it was

1984

his year.

nthe article entitled “Mock

President with torture” in
he 28 October edition of

ncorrectly stated that the
current President of China is
Jiang Zemin. Hu Jintao was
actually elected President

Wit’s egg

took a vacation.
But they’re back
this week with
their pal, The
Brainy Nintendo.
Find out how to
eat food inthe
comics section.

2 NEWS

thursday, 30 october, 2003

THE GATEWAY

thursday, 30 october, 2003
volume XCIll number 16

Published since 21 November, 1910
Circulation 10 000
ISSN 0845-356X

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GFC seeks to clarify rules for changing course outlines

JAKE TROUGHTON

News Writer

A policy amendment recently passed
by the General Faculties Council seeks
to clarify the circumstances under
which changes can be made to class
outlines after courses have begun.

The General Faculties Council (GFC)
requires that students in all courses
be given a course outline containing
certain information, including exam
dates and weights. Beginning next
term, changes to this information can
only be made with “fair warning or
general class consent.”

“Students need to plan, so the first
day they need to know what the course
is all about,” said U of A Vice-Provost
Dr Gretchen Hess. “[We] wanted a
policy that was a little clearer on
what students could expect to be in
the course outline and what wouldn't
change after that.”

Students’ Union Vice-President
(Academic) Janet Lo also expressed
hope that the policy will lead to greater
clarity.

“My biggest concern is making sure
that students understand what their
rights are ... so you don’t walk into a
midterm and it’s cancelled at the last
minute,” she said. “These things need
to either be put to the class specifically
beforehand, or they need to be agreed
to by the class.”

According to Lo, some student coun-
cilors appointed to GFC expressed
concerns that the inclusion of such
undefined terms as “fair warning” and
“general class consent” make the new
policy too vague. These councilors

sought to have changes to course out-
lines require unanimous class consent,
but other members of GFC questioned
the feasibility of that requirement.

“To get unanimous consent before
the drop date would be impossible,”
said Hess. “Students who have decided
to drop the class but haven't gotten
around to it are not going to answer
e-mails.”

“Students need to plan,
so the first day they
need to know what
the course is all about.
We wanted a policy
that was a little clearer
on what students could
expect to be in the
course outline and
what wouldn't change
after that.”

GRETCHEN HESS,
U OF A VICE-PROVOST

Biological sciences professor and
President of the Association of
Academic Staff at the University of
Alberta (AASUA) Dr John Hoddinott
agrees. “On a given day, you're not
guaranteed that everyone's going to be
there,” he said. “You could poll over
a series of days, but that’s not particu-
larly useful, because the change that
you want to bring about could be on
one of those days.”

However, most GFC members agreed

that the new policy is workable, despite
its vagueness.

“Students wanted it stronger, obvi-
ously, but after quite a lot of discussion
alot of students [on GFC] voted for this
policy change,” said Hess. “Hopefully
it will all work pretty smoothly and
give more structure than was ever
there before.”

“In a collegiate environment, it
should be workable between the class
and the professor,” said Lo. “The hope
is that the spirit of the policy is what
will be followed.”

All three agreed that keeping stu-
dents and professors informed about
their options should minimize any
future conflicts.

“

r

“Legislating common sense is
fraught with difficulty,” said
Hoddinott.

“The only way you can do that is
by making sure that everyone under-
stands that they've got an appeal pro-
cess.” That process, specified in the
policy, involves consulting the depart-
ment chair or faculty dean if disputes
go unresolved.

GFC is optimistic that the new policy
can be implemented smoothly.

“To me this is an exciting change,”
said Hess, “because it clarifies that the
important parts of the course aren’t
going to change after the beginning
except with good reason. It’s a very
forward step.”

VICTOR CHEE
CHANGE FOR STUDENTS SU VP (Academic) Janet Lo explains course outlines.

Mainstream media coverage criticized by Minister

COPPS * CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

She encouraged students to take
advantage of their position in society
to enact political change. “My message
to you is be a revolutionary. Don’t be
afraid to get out there and push the
envelope, because this is the only time
in your life where you'll be able to do
this with freedom and liberty.”

Copps also criticized the mainstream
media for not giving certain issues the
coverage they deserve. “Tuition has
gone up 110 per cent in the last ten
years, but I challenge you to pick upa
newspaper that provides a thoughtful
discussion on the affordability of edu-
cation,” she said.

She went on to further condemn the

media for perpetuating female stereo-
types.

“I picked up last week’s issue of
Macleans, and the top story was on
internet sex,” she explained. “On
the cover of this nationally-renowned
magazine was a photo of breasts that
didn’t even show the woman’s face.
We see that every single day in the
media. Why should we be surprised
then that we see the objectification of
women in Canadian society?”

In response to audience questions
about her successes as Heritage
Minister, Copps discussed her support
for aboriginal art and culture. “The
government can't create the art, but
it can create a platform for it,” she

“Believe in yourselves.
Dont be afraid to
challenge the status
quo, and don’t be afraid
of failing.”

SHEILA COPPS,
CANADIAN HERITAGE MINISTER

said. “This promotes interculturalism,
which is really important to Canada
in the 21st century. When you know
each other, you become stronger, and
a stronger sense of self leads to a stron-
ger country.”

After over an hour and a half of
discussion with her audience, Copps
concluded by encouraging students to
speak out about their ideologies and
beliefs.

“I would encourage you to think
outside to box, to break through the
stereotypes, and to recognize that
there’s one time in your life where you
are free to dream about the best you
want to be in a society that can pro-
vide the best for you, and that’s now,”
she said.

“There are so many questions that
need to be challenged by you. Believe
in yourselves. Don't be afraid to chal-
lenge the status quo, and don't be
afraid of failing.”

Zoreh Saher
Political Science
Graduate Studies

Ithink that tuition should be determined
by the University; it’s already too high,
really. Introducing this bill is going to one
more level of higher tuition, and that’s
a big problem, | think. The government
doesn’t really care about tuition levels at
all. All they want to do is increase tuition.
I think it’s annoying.

STREETERS

Yesterday, the Students’ Union held a Day of Action that coincided with events on other campuses across
the province to highlight their fight against Bill 43.

What do you know about Bill 43?

Tom Holloway
Math Lecturer

| think it’s a bad thing, and that’s why
everybody's here [eating hamburgers
and enjoying live rap music] today. I think
it’s allabout removing this cap on tuition
increases. | think there should be a cap
on the amount tuition can be increased
this year, something like five per cent.

Tiff Pino
Education IV

Bill 43: now that’s about school, right?
| think they should stop Bill 43 because
it’s an injustice to the students of the
school. | think that sucks because why
make it so only rich people can go to
school?

Compiled and photographed by Chris Wilson-Smith and Craig Battle

Merran Whitely
Phys Ed Ill

They should stop [Bill 43] because as
things are going now, scholarships with
what | have are able to cover my tuition,
but if they raise it I’m going to have to
take out student loans. I’d really like to
not have to do that because I’d like to be
able to finish school debt-free.

THE GATEWAY ¢ volume XCIIJ number 16

ASHLEY JENSEN

FIGHTING AGAINST BILL 43 Students stand in line for free hamburgers at the SU’s Day of Action Wednesday.

SU hopes to raise support in their campaign

BILL43 * CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

“We have 186 000 students repre-
sented by student groups all giving
the same message on the same day, all
doing something to point out that this
is an issue.”

Brechtel believes the awareness cam-
paign has been successful so far. While
strolling through the lineup and talk-
ing to students, he said that many knew
about Bill 43 and knew that it was a bad
thing but they did not know why.

“When people don't understand
why it’s a bad thing, they are less likely
to take action, but when people under-
stand the threat that this is to their
universities, then they are more likely,
understanding the gravity of the situ-
ation, to do something about it,” said
Brechtel.

On the government front, Brechtel
says there is a lot more work to be done,
but the Alberta Postsecondary Student
Alliance and its members think they
have made some headway. While the

“We are trying to both
make the public aware
of it so that there
is public pressure and
let the leaders of our
province know that
there is a big
constituency who
think this is a
problem.”

MAT BRECHTEL,
SU PRESIDENT

bill has not been revisited by the legis-
lature since May, there has been some
indication from the province that stu-
dents’ concerns are being considered.
However, Brechtel also mentioned there
are issues that cannot be left ignored.

“We've had some indication that
some of our major concerns will be
dealt with, but as it stands right now,
they still won’t have dealt with all
the concerns. To us, it is absolutely
unacceptable to not have a tuition
cap. It’s unacceptable not to have
Students’ Unions able to levy fees,”
said Brechtel.

Brechtel says the SU will keep push-
ing the issue. They have plans to make
weekly visits to various MLA offices
to make their opinions on the bill
known, as well as approach the legis-
lature when they revisit the bill next
month. The main focus will be keep-
ing Bill 43 in the public eye by using
all possible resources and publicly dis-
playing displeasure for the bill.

“We are trying to both make the
public aware of it so that there is public
pressure and let the leaders of our
province know that there is a big con-
stituency who thinks this is a prob-
lem,” explained Brechtel.

Funds are needed: Canadian Cancer Society

AADAC ¢ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

To Yvonne Gaudet, director of Cancer
Control Programs for the Alberta and
Northwest Territories division of the
Canadian Cancer Society, the grants
are needed.

“One of the things that
alot of the grants
will focus on is
de-normalizing the
social acceptance of

29

smoking... .

YVONNE GAUDET,

DIRECTOR, CANCER CONTROL
PROGRAMS, ALBERTA AND
NORTHWEST TERRITORIES DIVISION,
CANADIAN CANCER SOCIETY

“Traditionally, money has been lim-
ited in terms of funding prevention
programs, and I’m not speaking about
AADAC, I’m speaking in general,”
Gaudet explained.

“So, traditionally, a lot of money
was put into treatment, and it contin-
ues to be put into the care of cancer
patients. But what we're finding is that
we need to rebalance some of those
funds or advocate for more funds to
go into prevention.”

“Because we want to prevent cancer,

we have to focus and strengthen our
emphasis in the area of prevention so,
in the years to come, those who may
have gotten lung cancer, for example,
if they never started smoking, then we
have a good start—we won't have a
lung cancer patient in the future.”
Both Freeman and Gaudet argued
that the grants may also serve to edu-

cate young adults about the dangers of
tobacco advertising.

“One of the things that a lot of the
grants will focus on is de-normalizing
the social acceptance of smoking and
to let people know that they’re being
manipulated by the tobacco industry
through a lot of their marketing and
promotion strategies,” said Gaudet.

SHAWN BENBOW
STOPPING SMOKING AADAC is offering grants to promote quitting.

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spend 31 October. I promise.

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COMMUNITY COLLEGESTUDENTSBACK
IN CLASS
FREDERICTON (CUP)— Mary Clarkis back
in the classroom, and she says it smells
wonderful.

The student council president at the
New Brunswick Community College
(NBCC) in Woodstock says the school
is spic and span again after a custodial
strike that forced thousands of students
out of class for two weeks.

College custodians, who are mem-
bers of the Canadian Union of Public
Employees (CUPE) Local 1251, had been
striking for a pay raise since 3 October,
which meant unsanitary conditions and
a build-up of garbage in most of the
province's community colleges.

The mess caused classes to be
cancelled at ten of the eleven New
Brunswick Community Colleges, leav-
ing 6000 students worried about their
school year. Sunday marked the end of
the strike.

Now that classes are back on, Clark
said students are relieved.

“It’s wonderful. Everybody seems to
be excited to sit down and learn again,”
she explained.

Peter McGill, principalat the Saint John
NBCC, said teachers are going to assess
courses on a case-by-case basis to make
sure students are ready to continue.

“We do anticipate being able to catch
up, and we'll do what it takes to make
sure students are well served in this,” he
said.

The compromise between the union
andthe provincecameata crucial time—
school officials had said the semester
would have been jeopardized had the
strike dragged on any longer.

Sean P Sullivan, Atlantic Bureau

STUDENT LOBBY GROUPS UNITE
OTTAWA (CUP)—At a landmark week-
end conference in Ottawa, student
groups from across the country sat
together in preparation for having a uni-
fied voice during the next federal elec-
tion.

The informal conference was an initia-

tive of the Canadian Alliance of Student
Associations (CASA), and was the first
time in recent memory that all these
groups have come together at one table
to explore commonialities.

There were 45 delegates, mostly from
the national lobby groups, but the major
players were all there.

CASA, the Canadian Federation of
Students (CFS), the Ontario
Undergraduate Student Alliance (OUSA),
LaFederation Etudiantes d’Universites du
Quebec (LaFEUQ), the CouncilofAlberta
University Students (CAUS), and the
Alberta College and Technical Institute
Student Executive Council (ACTISEC),
were just a few of the student groups
present.

While no official agreements were
hammered out or initiatives released,
the groups opened up communications
and agreed to start working together to
develop a listserv.

“We talked about some broad-rang-
ingissues,” Kusie said, explaining that the
discussions included a dedicated trans-
fer for postsecondary education, stu-
dent financial aid and tuition fees.

According to La FEUQ, the dedicated
transfer payment was contentious.

“We don’t want the federal govern-
ment to dictate to the province what to
do with money,” he said Nick Vikander,
international affairs coordinator for La
FEUQ,

CFS, the largest student lobby group,
called the meeting “an interesting exer-
cise and good information session.”

Shirley Barg, chair of CAUS, said she
had “very favourable impressions,’ about
the conference.

She says that she had to teach a lot
of delegates about Alberta’s controver-
sial Bill 43, which, among many clauses,
eliminates a tuition cap, includes provin-
cial powers to dissolve and audit elected
student groups, and prohibits academic
staff to strike.

Kusie said that all the groups agreed
they should inform eachother of cam-
paigns and begin to work together in
preparation for a federal election next
year.

All the groups bring different political
perspectives, with CFS known to lean
further left of CASA.

“Everyone's goal is the same thing,”
Kusie said. “It’s our priority to make edu-
cation a national priority. All students
groups have that will.”

Adam Grachnik, Ottawa Bureau

‘THEY’VE GOT PHDS TOO, YOU KNOW’
VANCOUVER (CUP)—Sessional lectur-
ers who say they feel “invisible” at the
University of British Columbia are cele-
brating Fair Employment Week to make
their presence known to students and
the administration.

The event, mirrored at campuses
across North America, hopes to
acknowledge the contribution of the
more than 500 sessional lecturers to
campus life and research, and aims to
make an impression before the faculty
association and UBC meet next year for
labour talks.

“We're trying to make people on
campus aware of the fact that there
are people around them who look the
same as regular faculty but they aren't,”
said Elizabeth Hodgson, who has been
a sessional lecturer for eight years at
UBC.

“Students don’t know it, but we're
herein far greater numbers than people
think.”

Sessional lecturers are faculty mem-
bers hired to teach courses on a per-
credit basis with appointments lasting
up to a year. Sessionals at UBC are con-
centrated mostly in the arts and educa-
tion faculties.

Asessional is hired when UBC has stu-
dent demand for a course but cannot
secure permanent faculty to teach it,
said Neil Guppy, UBC Provost.

But sessionals have grown in number
at UBC, to the point where nearly half
of the English department's courses are
taught by them, Hodgson said.

“| was a sessional for twelve years,
doing the same job, year after year,” said
Karen Needham, who is now a full-time
instructor in the zoology department at
UBC.

“| wasn't filling some sort of tempo-
rary hole. | was permanently needed in
that department.”

“Most of the sessionals have PhDs
too, you know,” she said. “The problem
is that you've got someone who you're
expecting to stay current in the field, but
doesn’t have access to research facilities
that help bring research into the class-
room.”

Hodgson said sometimes sessionals
feel their contribution to the university
is largely unrecognized.

“We can’t often vote in department
meetings, our name is not listed next
to courses, we're not on websites. We're
just invisible.”

Jonathan Woodward, Ubyssey

Graduate runs across country for scholarships
Idea to raise money for students started as work-term project at U of R

GINNY COLLINS

Central Bureau

REGINA (CUP)—Wes and Dano Baker,
two brothers from western Canada,
have hit the road to raise money that
will go toward scholarships for uni-
versity students.

Wes's mission is to run across
Canada, from Halifax Harbour to
Victoria, in an attempt to raise $100 000
in donations to help students in finan-
cial need.

The project is headed by Canada
Run, an association of which Wes
Baker is the president.

Wes’s brother Dano has also come
along for the ride. He has done part of
the journey on foot, but mainly takes
care of the administrative and public
relations tasks while riding alongside
Wes in the Canada Run van as they
travel across the country.

“Wes thought it would be a fun way
to do things for a good cause,” said
Dano.

The Canada Run Association began
as a student work-term project but
soon turned into a reality. Being recent
graduates themselves, Wes and Dano
say they know the financial struggle
many students face.

An average day on the road for the
brothers includes getting up at 4am
and hitting the road by 5am. Wes takes
a one-hour lunch break as well as ten-
minute breaks every six or seven kilo-
metres.

“The last three weeks
are really going to be
significant as far as the
dent that we make.”

DANO BAKER,
BROTHER,
PRESIDENT OF CANADA RUN

The two continue traveling until
8pm each evening. Although the jour-
ney began asa “run,” the brothers have
since had to slow their pace down.

“Wes has been walking a lot
throughout the whole prairies because
he hurt himself back in Ontario,” said
Dano in a phone interview Tuesday.

Apparently, Wes hurt his knee
fairly seriously while running back
east. Despite this, by last Tuesday
morning they had reached Medicine
Hat, Alberta, with no intentions of
slowing down. On average, they travel

around 65 kilometres a day.

According to Dano, several compa-
nies have been very supportive of the
campaign. Many other companies and
organizations have expressed interest,
but are waiting for Canada Run to
achieve charity status.

They are currently in the process of
doing so and are waiting to receive
their charity status package. Once it is
received, donators will receive a tax
receipt for any donation over $50. The
association is also asking the public for
individual cash donations to support
the run.

As far as gaining further support
and publicity, the brothers are opti-
mistic about the last stretch of their
journey.

“The last three weeks are really
going to be significant as far as the
dent that we make,” said Dano, adding
later that he felt the West was where
their base was strongest.

The journey is expected to finish by
mid- to late- November. Dano said that
they are unsure of the exact financial
gains so far and that they don’t wish
to find out until the journey is com-
pleted.

Scholarship application details can
be obtained at www.canadarun.com.

THE GATEWAY ¢ volume XCIIJ number 16 ADVERTISEMENT 5

SELECTION COMMITTEE FOR DEAN OF THE FACULTY OF REHABILITATION MEDICINE

Decision of the Discipline Interpretation and Enforcement Board

JONES vs. HARLOW, re. IN CAMERA PROCEEDINGS

Vv) DATE: Friday October 24, 2003

ee

As you know, Dr. Cook’s term as Dean of the Faculty of Rehabilitation Medicine will end on
June 30, 2004 and an advisory Selection Committee has been established in accordance with
University regulations to begin the search for a new Dean.

D.LE. BOARD MEMBERS PRESENT: Christopher Samuel, Chair. Ben Aber-
At this point in its deliberations, the Selection Committee needs your opinions on the leader- “STUDENTS. ant, TJ Adhihetty, Kyle Kawanami, Michelle Kelly
ship needs of the Faculty in the years ahead and any other key issues. Individuals are urged to UNION

contact members of the Committee, or write to me as Chair, to express your views on priorities APPEAL DETAILS:
Appellant: Chris Jones

Respondent: Gregory Harlow, Speaker of Students’ Council

of the Faculty, current issues, and the future direction of the Faculty. In order to facilitate the
committee's work, could I please ask that you submit your comments by November 20.

SUMMARY OF ALLEGATION AND RESPONSE:
On September 23, 2003, Students’ Council heard an appeal from a decision

of the Discipline, Interpretation, and Enforcement (D.LE.) Board with respect
to Paul Reikie’s ability to run for Students’ Council. Students’ Council moved
in-camera to deliberate the case, ejecting all observers from Council Chambers,
including Chris Jones.

Under the Students’ Union’s Constitution (Article XVIII, clause 4), ev-
ery member of the Students’ Union has the right to witness Students’ Council’s
meetings, except if the member is being unduly disruptive or Council has moved
in-camera (which must be in compliance with the Students’ Union’s Confidenti-
ality Policy). Since this Policy expired on April 30, 2002, Jones contends that his
rights as a Students’ Union member were violated.

In addition, individuals who may wish to stand as a candidate are invited to apply. Individuals
may also nominate others who they feel would be suitable candidates.

The selection of a Dean is vital to the success of the Faculty. I would therefore ask you all to
take the time, even at this hectic point in the academic year, to give some thought to the future
of your Faculty.

Your views are important to us and will be solicited again later in the process with an opportun-
ity, at that time, to meet and question our final short-listed candidates at public forums. Thank
you for your assistance.

Please forward your comments to the address below or to any member of the Dean Selection Committee
(contact information below):

Carl Amrhein

Provost and Vice-President (Academic) and Chair Dean Selection
Committee Faculty of Rehabilitation Medicine

2-10 University Hall, University of Alberta

Edmonton, AB T6G 2J9

E-Mail: provost@ualberta.ca

DEAN SELECTION COMMITTEE MEMBERSHIP
Faculty of Rehabilitation Medicine

DECISION:
For better or worse, since Article XVI, clause 4 of the Students’ Union’s Con-
stitution specifically cites that moving in-camera shall be in compliance with the
Students’ Union’s Confidentiality Policy, the D.LE. Board believes that this fact
alone places an incredible significance on this Policy. Namely, that it is Students’
Council’s desire to exclusively use the criteria detailed in this Policy to move in-
camera. Consequently, if this Policy expires, no other criteria may be used.

By allowing its Confidentiality Policy to expire, Students’ Council has
effectively deprived itself of the ability to move in-camera. As such, the D.LE.
Board finds that Jones’ right to witness proceedings of Students’ Council pursu-

Contact Information: ant to Article XVIII clause 4 was violated.

; Furthermore, the D.I-E. Board believes that the Speaker, Harlow, erred
Carl Amrhein 492-3443 P rovost@ualberta.ca when he allowed Students’ Council to move in-camera, which, in effect, violated
ee i eee iad eee his responsibility to ensure that Students’ Council comply with its own Consti-
eantsn Bellloal 492-5980 eee cillodleGn cine tution. However, no punitive action is levied against Harlow as he acted in good
Michele Crites Battié 492-5968 michele.battie@ualberta.ca faith in the execution of his duties.
Paul Hagler 492-9674 paul.hagler@ualberta.ca
Tammy Hopper 492-0836 tammy-hopper@ualberta.ca RECOMMENDATION:
Robert Lederer 492-6367 tlederer@ualberta.ca It is the official recommendation of the D.I.E. Board that Students’ Council
Lucia Chen 988-0264 Icchen@ualberta.ca immediately craft and approve a Confidentiality Policy as part of its regular
' ee McAllister ee ne ae is standing orders to avoid having this Policy inconveniently expire again. Until

une orris a fune.norris@ millaranealth.com : > A :

Donna Gravelle 413-5023 ae Suel ume otudenly Counal vannobmove iocinata:
Anne Lopushinsky 944-1609 registrar@acslpa.ab.ca The Discipline, Interpretation and Enforcement (D.I.E.) Board functions as the judicial branch of the
Grant Fedoruk 466-1101 gtedoruk@telusplanet.net Students’ Union, and is responsible for interpreting and enforcing all Students’ Union legislation. If
Carol Ebert 492-0329 carol.ebert@ualberta.ca

anyone has any questions regarding the D.LE. Board, feel free to contact the Chair, Chris Samuel, at
dieboard@su.ualberta.ca .

Green is Gold

Eco-Conference

Think global. Act local. Stay hopeful.

November 1 & 2, 2003 | Students’ Union Building

Keynotes:

~ Elizabeth May 'Why Kyoto is Not Enough:
The Threat of Climate Change'

~ Anna Blythe-Lappe 'Finding the Edge of Hope:
Stories of Food, Farming & Democracy'

Sessions including:

Environmental Racism, Fossil Free Living and Natural
Building, Green Politics, Sustainable Technologies,
Current Energy Issues, Vegeterianism, Ecovillages and
Environmental Communities, Indigenous Peoples and
Climate Justice... and many other sessions designed to
inform, challenge and empower to action.

Special Events including:

~ Environmental Activism Art Exhibit
by Edmonton Small Press Association.

~ Special Movie Presentation brought to us by
the Global Visions Film Festival.

Students: $25
Non-Students: $35
Register at all Info Desks and Online

WWwWW.SU-ECOS.Ca

( | { Bee Ss g oo
EQUIPMENT iniversity of Alberta < >
Ec0s APIRG MES ETS FN Sra
Office aN

pour tennant Ono aed Opa by The Ci Eranton
“ ' 1

OPINION

Halloween isnt just

about evil

DiaserIcs, PURITANS AND HERMITS of the world
brace yourselves: Halloween is right around the
corner, and this year’s prime Friday placement means
were in for an especially rambunctious devil-mimick-
ing day of ghouling. Or at least we will be, if all the
fun-haters out there learn to accept that Halloween is
the finest quasi-holiday of the year.

Sure, there isn’t any real symbolic significance to
the day anymore and, okay, it might just be an
excuse for socially repressed people to live out
their fantasies of dressing in drag, but is that so
wrong? Most holidays—like Valentine’s Day, Easter
and even Christmas—are based in tradition, particu-
lar religious beliefs and Hallmark-style exploitation.
However, everyone can enjoy the raw exhilaration of
dressing up like someone else and having a night of
debauchery without consequences.

The Retail Council of Canada has estimated
Canadians will spend $800 million dollars on devil’s
night this year, with $205 million dollars going
towards confectionary sales alone. Some socially-con-
scious hippies would like to tell you that huge chunk
of change could be used to benefit humanity, but
we can’t spend every day making the world a better
place to live: sometimes people just need to have fun.
Besides, there’s no better example of spreading comra-
derie than giving out $205 million dollars worth of
snack-sized Kit-Kat bars and sugar rockets to people
decked out in pink fishnets and pirate patches.

But that doesn’t stop people from trying to give
Halloween a bad name. Urban tales about razorblades
and poisoned candy have haunted All Hallow’s Eve
since 1970, when a five-year-old boy died after con-
suming candy that was laced with heroin. The police
determined the incident was actually caused by the
child accidentally ingesting drugs owned by his uncle,
not tainted treats, but ever since, the old wives’
tale has stuck. In reality, most poisoning reports are
hoaxes and millions of children go knocking on
strangers’ doors every year without harm.

And it may come as a surprise, but this sticky-
fingered holiday doesn’t actually have any roots in
the occult: Halloween actually began as an ancient
Celtic festival. 2000 years ago, the festival of Samhain
(meaning summer’s end) was celebrated as the Celtic
New Year in present-day UK. The first of November
represented the beginning of winter—a time associ-
ated with cold and hard times that resulted in many
deaths—and the Celtics believed the night before
the New Year was when the boundary between the
worlds of the living and the dead opened. People
who had lost relatives in previous years would appease
the roaming spirits by putting food and wine on
their doorsteps. Similarly, many people would dress in
intricate costumes and gather around bonfires during
fortune-seeking ceremonies. Those were the primitive
beginnings of trick-or-treating.

Celtic priests—more commonly known as
Druids—relied heavily on spoken beliefs so the
majority of their teachings do not appear in written
form, which makes tracking Halloween’s precise
beginnings very difficult. But most of the overly
sadistic folklore behind Halloween is attributed to
super-sensationalism and modern-day misinterpreta-
tion based on small truths.

Halloween isn’t evil, bad for society, or laden
with cumbersome traditions. You don’t have to go
home and deal with distant relatives or feel pressured
by your valentine to pull off a perfect evening of
romance. Youre never too old to dress up, kick back
and enjoy a day of jack-o-lanterns and candy apples.
So go out on Friday and do it up like a prophesizing
Druid circa 3 AD.

HEATHER ADLER
Arts & Entertainment Editor

Halloween haikus

Candy is yummy
But my stomach is quite sad
This is Satan’s fault

Kids in costumes shout,
“Trick or treat!” the little scamps
Poison dreams tonight

ADAM ROZENHART
Managing Editor

LETTERS

The SU wants a tuition
freeze

“Be it resolved that the University
of Alberta Students’ Union cam-
paign for a funded tuition freeze for
the 2003-04 school year.”

Sounds pretty straightforward,
doesn’t it? The Students’ Union has
opposed the skyrocketing tuition
increases that have made a U of
A education all but unaffordable
for many students. Your Students’
Union willnot agree toincrease your
tuition no matter what, despite the
assertions made by others, such
as Mike Hudema in his Gateway
column (“An SU-Administration
coalition on tuition can only hurt
students,” 23 October). That is not
on the table. That is not negotiable.
Any tuition increase runs counter
to the tuition freeze we are trying
to get.

What your Students’ Union is
doingis trying to findallies in getting
that freeze and finding people who
share our same values of a quality
and accessible university education.
Could the University Administration
be an important ally in our fight
against tuition hikes? | am certainly
willing to try.

The plan for the University to
make the tuition decision ona multi-
year basis is being proposed to have
the University Administration and
the Students’ Union increase the
public's awareness of tuition and
education underfunding, not take
it away. Also, as the Gateway men-
tioned in their editorial on the
subject (SU/Administration coali-
tion might work,” 16 October), the
SU and the Administration would
have to agree on how new govern-
ment money would offset a tuition
increase that year is an essential
part of a multi-year tuition increase.
Without that, a multi-year tuition
increase will not happen.

| believe that the reason your
tuition is so high is because the gov-
ernment thinks that you will pay it
and that no one cares. But | know
different. Students may be paying,
but it is not without a huge cost,
and | want to show the government
that people do care. Students care.
Albertans care. And if | can show
them other groups, such as the
University itself think that the costs
of education are too high, maybe
that will get them the message just
before an election (the traditional
time governments actually try to
listen).

What the multi-year tuition
increase proposal will mean in the
long run is still being debated, but
it certainly won't compromise our
values. Your opposition to annual
tuition increases is not for sale.
Students need affordable tuition
and they need a Students’ Union
that will stand up for that. You don’t
need to convince me of that, but
we do need to convince the govern-
ment. Help me make them listen to
you.

MAT BRECHTEL

Students’ Union President

Stop wasting paper,
Gateway

I'mnotsome rabid save-the-earth
type, but there are two arguably

environmentally destructive behav-
iours | have been seeing repeatedly
at the U of Aover the last 5 years, so
the time has come to get it off my
chest.

The first complaint | have is
against the Gateway. Haven't you
figured out by now that campus
does not need probably half of the
Tuesday issues you guys churn out?
To be putting out thousands upon
thousands of copies on a Tuesday
where their shelf life is not even a
lousy 48 hours is just ridiculous! |
know | am not the only one who
can more than make due with pick-
ing up some scattered issue lying
on some table somewhere, or pick
one up that is still neatly laying in
the top of one of those blue recy-
cling bins. | know your advertisers
are on your ass about the audience
numbers that they need to reach,
but | ask you to try your best to
cut the waste. You could start with
cutting the Comics page and just
put whatever Mike Winters pro-
duces that week somewhere on
page three.
ly second complaint is to all the
people who traipse through V-Wing
on their way home, past all the
classrooms that are brighter than
the gates of Heaven with not a
soul to be found within them. For
goodness sake, open that door and
flick that switch to “off” Save the
U of A some money on its electric
bill. Who knows, the savings might
even trickle down to us.

That also includes you lazy profs
out there who knowit’s the last class
of the day in V-Wing. Didn’t your
mothers teach you to turn off the
light when you leave a room?

RON VINOKOOR

Pharmacy |

Racism has no place in
our cultural mosaic

On the bus on the way to the
University on Thursday an incident
occurred in which a woman refused
to move for a disabled woman to
sit, though she was repeatedly asked

yau ony ly A dey

bot its briftal anywa

managing@gateway.ualberta.ca ¢ thursday, 30 october, 2003

to. Many people on the bus, me
included, were shocked by the wom-
an’s refusal to offer her seat to the
disabled woman.

| was particularly bothered, how-
ever, by comments that two mid-
dle-aged ladies behind me were
making. They went far enough to
label that woman’s unkindness as a
direct result of the fact that she was
of ethnic origin. Then they contin-
ued, loudly enough for all to hear,
that the woman should “return to
her own country” and that “she
should not bring her country’s ways
of life to Canada and ruin it for every-
one else”.

| turned to the ladies and kindly
asked them not to make this issue
of unkindness into an issue of race.
One of the women used the defense
“lm not a racist person at all”. Then
she hurled insults at me, with an
overload of foul language (not suit-
able for print), and told me to shut
my ears and mouth if | did not
like her opinion. She claimed that
Canada was not the ethnic woman's
country because she was not born
here.

I've always been told that Canada
is well-known as the “Cultural
Mosaic”, but frankly, | cannot call it
that in regards to Thursday's inci-
dent. To the woman who made the
racial slurs, it’s a shame that your
parents never taught you about
acceptance oreven manners. When
you made those irrational, harsh
comments and used an excess of
foul language, your little grand-
daughter was also on that bus.
What will she think? How are you
going to bring up the next gener-
ation? Although you called me “a
little girl who does not know any-
thing”, | do know that your racial
slurs were unfairly made. Racism is
a cancer—a cancer of hatred. Yes,
| do agree that what the woman
of ethnic origin did was inconsid-
erate, but her action is not a prod-
uct of her being of ethnic origin.
It is unfair to label all people
of her ethnic origin as “ignorant
people who should all return to
their own country”. | hope that all
Canadians, regardless of race, can

work together and still proudly call
Canada the “Cultural Mosaic”.

JASMINE S CHU

Science |

Backstrom’s out to lunch,
and his teeth are rotting

Don’t you just hate uninformed
ignoramuses who don’t do their
research? I’m talking to you, Melvin
Backstrom. I’m afraid that your arti-
cle on second opinions was inaccu-
rate and uneducated (“Got cavities?
Get a second opinion,” 23 October).
Let me clarify with the following.

First of all, there are many types
of cavities. Surface cavities appear
as soft, black spots on teeth, easily
detected by probing the tooth sur-
face. “Non-flossing” cavities, how-
ever, need an X-ray to be revealed.

Let me offer an explanation to
your “conflicting opinions” expe-
rience. The first dentist you saw
might have detected your five cavi-
ties using x-rays, while the second
one might have only done a visual
exam, assumed that you already
knew about your previously diag-
nosed rotting teeth, and since there
was no other decay to report, that
dentist declared zero cavities.

A cavity does not necessarily
mean pain. Surface cavities—ones
at the depth of the enamel—are
painless, yet cavities nonetheless.
Decay that stretches down to the
interior, or pulp, causes intolerable
pain.

Just because you don’t feel it,
doesn’t mean it’s not there. Only a
dentist can tell you what condition
your teeth are in. Self-diagnosis, like
the one you made, is futile.

As to your claims about fluoride,
studies have shown that not only
does it have the abilityto maketeeth
more resistant to decay, but can
also slow down the progression of
very small cavities, make the enamel
stronger, and help fight plaque from
depositing on teeth.

Like everything else, however, flu-
oride must be used in moderation.

PLEASE SEE MORE LETTERS ¢ PAGE 8

THE GATEWAY ¢ volume XCIII number 16

OPINION

f

My uncles not racist, hes just old | Before you spazz about
stem cells, read this

*

DAVID
BERRY

One of the subtle joys of Thanksgiving,
beyond eating enough food to feed an
impoverished African village for a cal-
endar year, is the chance to catch up
with relatives. Uncle Tom and his trav-
els across the world; Cousin Sarah and
her new children; and of course, that
ever-present, grossly politically incor-
rect, borderline bigoted relative whom
we all know and love.

Perhaps some of you don’t have one
of these, but I do, and it sure is a treat
to hear him rifle through the Ethnic
Slur Thesaurus at every family get-
together. During one particular con-
versation involving Governor-General
Adrienne Clarkson, who is both a visi-
ble minority and French (which allows
my uncle to mix-and-match his dis-
graceful comments about her heritage),
and her Jewish husband John Ralston
Saul, I heard him utter no less then 15
ethnic slurs, some so obscure I had to
consult some of my older relatives so I
could be sure which particular minor-
ity he was currently slighting.

Now, it would be easy to readily con-
demn him as some sort of prehistoric,
intolerant geezer—an unfortunate relic
from a time when society in general
wasnt as tolerant as it is (seemingly,
anyway) today—as I’m sure many of
you already have. There have been quite
a few times when I myself have wanted
to admonish him in front of my rela-
tives for saying things that have such a
negative connotation.

But a little below the surface, there is
a problem with such a simple charac-
terization. While my uncle peppers his
language with words we could never
print in this newspaper, or for that
matter even utter at this University
without serious reprisals, I can honestly
say that to the best of my knowledge,

he would never discriminate against

anyone based on race, creed or colour.

This fact leaves me in a slight quan-
dary. On the one hand, I understand
how much words can hurt, and I cer-
tainly don’t believe that simply because
none of “those people” he is insulting
are present at our family functions
that it suddenly makes it alright to
start throwing around ethnic slurs like
a Klan member with Tourette’s syn-
drome. On the other hand, it seems to
me that he uses these words more out
of familiarity than anything else. That
is, he doesn’t mean anything hateful
by them, he simply just doesn’t know
any better.

Now, even as I re-read that last state-
ment, it looks like a poor and flimsy
excuse for putting up with his repeated
outbursts of slurs. But this isn’t simply
some black-and-white issue. I’ve heard
people say these types of things with
the intention of hurting, as we all
have. And I’ve certainly heard people
who stop short of using slurs but still
hold views far more prejudiced or
hurtful than anything I’ve ever heard
my uncle espouse. It certainly isn’t the

This week, | am happy to deliver a
long-deserved beating tothe hundreds
of riders of dozens of buses. Their col-
lective crime? Not moving to the god-
damn back of the goddamn bus!

What makes you think you deserve
a three-foot radius of space around
you when everyone else is packed
in like sardines? What is so desirable
about that spot next to the doors?
And what is it about that little step
back there that makes moving all the
way back such an insurmountable
challenge?

It’s not just a question of comfort;
people are actually ‘turned away/ from
buses that are “too full,” when actu-
ally there’s plenty of space people just
don’t seem to want to fill up.

The problem is exacerbated by a few

case that just because someone doesn't
ever let loose with some random slurs
that they couldn’t possibly be a bigot,
so why should it be the case that just
because someone does occasionally, or
even frequently, say things that the rest
of us can barely manage out in a whis-
per (and only if we're describing an
instance when someone else says it)
that they're automatically a racist?

The only essential difference
between calling someone by a politi-
cally-correct term, suchas, say, African-
American, and something harsher, like
dropping an N-bomb, is that society
has decided one is more appropriate
than the other; both words still divide
us along nothing more than racial
lines. Until I’m fully convinced that
my uncle’s use of slurs is something
more than simply a shunned, grossly
politically-incorrect holdover from a
different time, I’m going to continue
to not repeat anything he says and sit
quietly eating my turkey—and never,
ever take a girl home to meet my
family. Not that I ever would anyhow,
since girls hate me and think I’m gay.

common misconceptions. Myth: Once
youve staked out your spot, you're
never required to move again. Fact:
While a person can stand anywhere he
or she wants when the bus is reason-
ably empty, once that baby starts to fill
up, it’s time to make room.

Myth: No matter where the person
who got on in front of you stands, you
must stand closer to the front than
he. Fact: If there’s room at the back
but some jackass is blocking your way,
walk past him!

Myth: We are all in grade six and do
not have to move back until the bus
driver tells us to. Fact: It’s time to grow
up and have some consideration for
others.

CHRIS KRAUSE

The Burlap Sack is a semi-regular fea-
ture where a person or group who
needs to be put ina sack and beaten is
ridiculed in print. No sack beatings are
actually administered.

CAITLIN
CRAWSHAW

~”

It would seem that technology devel-
ops at a faster rate than human moral-
ity, and arguably this week’s legislative
decision to allow the use of fetuses in
research is a clear indication of this.
The bill passed 149-109, but one must
wonder if this indicates that a major-
ity of Canadians are in agreement with
this. And one must wonder whether
were ready to be coming to grips with
this morally, when the understanding
of the moral status of the fetus is vague
in the minds of Canadians.

The issue of fetal rights is plagued
with controversy, littered with acts of
violence and utterly overwhelmed by
emotion on both sides. And while the
Roe vs Wade decision has allowed for
legal abortions, there is a great deal of
residual ambivalence on this issue.

Though defined legally as a non-
person, the status of a fetus in the
Canadian collective consciousness is
unclear. Hardly anyone I’ve spoken to
feels comfortable with their view of
the fetus, nor with the legal account.
Nevertheless, it is an issue that seems
to have been pushed underground.

While women continue to have
abortions, the topic of abortion makes
us squeamish and nervous. While
legal, abortions are still a dark phe-
nomenon and not treated as other
medical procedures. Moreover, the use
of stem cells and fetal tissue more gen-
erally is a similarly dark zone. At least
among my peers, the topic is a gray
area many ignore. It’s my suspicion
that we're in need of a public debate in
Canada on the rights we're willing to
grant fetuses, of the value we place on
research, and of the rights of women
to control their own bodies.

I know people who may benefit

from the use of stem cells and from
the other ways in which researchers
can utilize fetal tissue to understand
and treat various diseases and condi-
tions. And I too feel a twinge when I
am reminded of this—a funny feeling
of defensive loyalty. But this feeling is
not enough to argue that the use of
fetal tissue is necessary and justified,
just as pro-life proponents ought not
to be driven solely by their own emo-
tional response to the thought of kill-
ing the unborn. Nor should left-wing
feminists respond to their own twinge
of rage, at the thought of women’s
bodies being regulated by the state.

Let’s stop and think for a moment
before pulling out the rhetoric from
all sides of the discussion, before
indulging our feelings and responding
angrily and passionately. For when
we haven't thought through the prob-
lem long enough to come to a real
understanding of what a fetus is, nor
what moral standing we wish to grant
the fetus, how dare we take a moral
stance?

I've heard and read pro-life pro-
ponents speak of the “murder” of
“babies,” as if it were a painfully obvi-
ous fact that fetal tissue at two weeks
is identical to a fetus of eight months.
With such a disturbing refusal to con-
sider that fetal development is not a
discrete process, but rather a contin-
uous series of stages, I tune out. I
have little respect for those who prefer
angry rhetoric over thoughtful exam-
ination, and as such, those feminists
who react furiously at the thought
of denying women the legal right to
abortion are similarly ridiculous in
my mind. A fetus, though not a fully
developed person, is also not a finger-
nail clipping.

I do not hesitate to classify the latter
group as callous, and the former as
reactionary, and both as lazy thinkers.
Human life is ridden with moral deci-
sions of complexity and meaning: but
we shouldn’t refuse to consider all
aspects of the problem before reacting.
We simply haven't the right to.

one

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8 — OPINION

thursday, 30 october, 2003

MORELETTERS ¢ CONTINUED FROM PAGE6
With the exception of toothpastes, other
forms of fluoride (tablets, for example)
can only be used under the supervision
of a dentist.

Finally, it’s a fact that amalgam fillings,
which yousoadamantly spoke out against,
contain mercury. This metal, when mixed
with silver alloy, forms compounds that
have been shown not to be harmful tothe
body. Besides, nowadays dentists prefer
to use composite (tooth coloured mate-
rial) unless extreme situations deem the
previous option to be optimal.

Next time, do a little more research,
Backstrom.

ALEXANDRA MAHONEY
Arts VI

Keep Lister in the Campus
Crime Beat

|. am writing this letter in regards to
the ongoing quarrel between Lister Hall
residents and Campus Crime Beat col-
umnist Barrie Tanner. From 2001-2003 |
was a resident of Lister Centre. | stand up
for the personal growth that dorm life
can bring, and fully support all decisions
made by the residents and employees
within. | also believe that part of growing
as a mature university student involves
experiences with alcohol consumption
(whether responsible or not).

When individuals drink irresponsibly
it has a tremendous effect on those
around them in the residence commu-
nity and, in some circumstances where
actual crimes are committed, on mem-
bers of the campus community. This is
why | feel it is necessary to include Lister
Centre in Campus Crime Beat.

Yes, | am aware that over-consump-
tion of alcohol is not a crime, but please
don't harp on Barrie for a column title.
All students have a right to know what
is going on around campus as it affects
their opinions and choices made about

A SERVICE OF YOUR STUDENTS! UNION FOR U OF A STUDENTS, STAFF, ALUMNI AND THEIR GUESTS

university life.

Lister Centre, you are understandably
upset about the reputation that has
befallen you with regards to alcohol, but
try and use the Campus Crime Beat
as your motivation to encourage more
a responsible atmosphere for drinking.
Take care of your floormates during par-
ties and other events centered around
alcohol, don’t be afraid to intervene if
you notice a friend is drinking too much
too fast, and for those who have expe-
rienced the embarrassment of public
alcohol poisoning, use your experience
to educate others.

Work to the best of your ability, Lister
Centre, because the non-profit organi-
zations that you've fundraised for appre-
ciate you greatly, but please, let Barrie
Tanner just do his job.

STEPHANIE HARTWIG

Science Ill

Pandas Rugby ignored by
the Gateway, once again

Our team was once again quite dis-
appointed at the utter lack of coverage
given to Pandas rugby. Not only did we
win our fifth consecutive Canada West
title since our program began five years
ago, but we are now on our way to the
“Drive for Five” at nationals.

Since nationals are being hosted in
Edmonton this year, it was our hope
that the Gateway would support us in
our attempt to once again trounce our
opposition. We are in the midst of a
legacy with or without the Gateway.

Pandas Rugby

Letters to the editor should be dropped

off at room 3-04 of the Students’

Union Building, or e-mailed to
managing @gateway.ualberta.ca.

The Gateway reserves the right to edit
letters for length and clarity.

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#§ POWERPLANT

ios restaurant & bar

october 31

We need a separation of powers

NICHOLAS
TAM

x

~w J

Believe it or not, you can actually learn
a thing or two from going to Students’
Council meetings. Earlier this month,
when the fire and brimstone of “nay”
votes from the heavens above mer-
cilessly crushed the motion to delin-
eate the Students’ Union's executive
and legislative functions, I left Council
questioning human nature itself:

I stumbled upon a discovery of
unprecedented elegance: that all the
terrors of the world throughout his-
tory can be traced directly to an insuf-
ficient separation of powers.

The separation to which I refer
encompasses not only the realm of
governance, but the very foundations
of human behaviour. Take religious
conflict, for example. If people lacked
the self-serving arrogance to legislate
their personal beliefs, execute them in
doctrinal practice, and use their judi-
cial facilities to formulate universal
moral assertions, we would have none
of this “my god can beat up your god”
nonsense or its accompanying bucket-
fuls of vainglorious bloodshed.

Religiously motivated warfare may
seem a little trivial next to really per-
tinent travesties of social decadence,
like the fact that reality television still
has a viewership, but even that can
be attributed to studio executives butt-
ing into matters of the popular arts in
the name of corrupting a million-man

jury glued to the boob tube.

could I please ask that you submit your comments by November 20.

also nominate others who they feel would be suitable candidates.

time, even at this hectic point in the academic year, to give some thought to the future of your Faculty.

Carl Amrhein 492-3443 provost@ualberta.ca
Gary Kachanoski 492-5353 gary.kachanoski@ualberta.ca
Teresa Krukoff 492-5920 teresa. krukoff@ualberta.ca
John Spence 492-1426 john.spence@ualberta.ca
Ellen Goddard 492-4596 ellen.goddard@ualberta.ca
Frank Robinson 492-3234 frank.robinson@ualberta.ca
Janet Fast 492-5768 janet.fast@ualberta,ca
Cynthia Paszkowski 492-5172 cindy,paszkowski@ualberta.ca
Gupreet Singh 929-8933 gs5@ualberta.ca
Andrew Wall 430-1620 acwall@ualberta.ca
Marcia Fossey 483-6916 mfossey@planet.eon.net

cs ae E Judy Halladay 495-5418 judy_halladay@hc-fe.gc.ca
David Lloyd 427-0575 david,Lloyd@gov.ab.ca
Darren Tapp 427-5324 darren.tapp@gov.ab.ca
Georgie Jarvis 492-4931 georgie.jarvis@ualberta.ca

PROFITS FROM THE POWERPLANT GO TOWARDS THE SUPPORT OF STUDENTS’ UNION SERVICES

“Religiously motivated warfare may seem a little
trivial next to really pertinent travesties of social
decadence, like the fact that reality television still has
a viewership, but even that can be attributed to studio
executives butting into matters of the popular arts in
the name of corrupting a million-man jury glued to

the boob tube.”

The sinking of the Titanic? Failure of
the command to concurrently navigate
and steer the damned ship. The rise
of the Galactic Empire? The crushing
of, surprise-surprise, a separatist fac-
tion. Untold man-years of productivity
lost to the Internet? Apparently it was
invented by Al Gore; enough said.

The big question is if the absolute
separation of powers is such a righ-
teous means to worldwide harmony,
then why has it failed to see implemen-
tation—even on the level of a political
sandbox like the SU? The answer, of
course, is the invariably denied pres-
ence of a vast global conspiracy.

Let us bypass the obvious political
examples of iron-fisted dictatorial men-
aces holding power more concentrated
than alcohol in a high-school student.
Instead, one needs to look at the
continued promotion of easy home
cooking by the likes of Campbell’s
and Kraft, who continue to pursue a
dangerous integrationist agenda. They
coerce individuals to simultaneously
legislate what to have for dinner, exe-
cute its preparation and judge its qual-
ity—in essence, have their cake and eat
it too. The unfulfilling nature of their
products is a direct cause of hunger,
anorexia and death.

Then there are the militant environ-
mental activists—and this one I know
from personal experience. The other

As you know, Dr. Morrison will be stepping down as Dean of the Faculty of Agriculture, Forestry
and Home Economics effective June 30, 2004 and an advisory Selection Committee has been est-
ablished in accordance with University regulations to begin the search for a new Dean.

At this point in its deliberations, the Selection Committee needs your opinions on the leadership
needs of the Faculty in the years ahead and any other key issues. Individuals are urged to contact
members of the Committee, or write to me as Chair, to express your views on priorities of the Faculty,

current issues, and the future direction of the Faculty. In order to facilitate the committee's work,

In addition, individuals who may wish to stand as a candidate are invited to apply. Individuals may

The selection of a Dean is vital to the success of the Faculty, I would therefore ask you all to take the

Your views are important to us and will be solicited again later in the process with an opportunity, at
that time, to meet and question our final short-listed candidates at public forums. Thank you for

your assistance,

Please forward your comments to the address below or to any member of the Dean Selection Committee
(contact information below):

Carl Amrhein

Provost and Vice-President (Academic) and Chair
Deans Selection Committee Faculty of Agriculture, Forestry and Home Economics
2-10 University Hall, University of Alberta
Edmonton, AB T6G 2)J9

E-Mail: provost@ualberta.ca

DEAN SELECTION COMMITTEE MEMBERSHIP
Faculty of Agriculture, Forestry and Home Economics
Contact Information:

day, a mob threw stones at me from
the safety of their greenhouse because
they caught me taking an axe to an
innocent Douglas fir in a vain attempt
to dismember the judiciary branches.

The clout of the banks is also to
blame. The increased promotion and
reliance on convenient plastic cash
replacements, both credit and debit,
have indoctrinated an entire genera-
tion to avoid change at all costs. In
the long run, this may prove to be
the acorn of civilization’s greatest eco-
nomic tragedy since we abandoned
the physical trading of salt.

Lexicographers, NHL linesmen, gar-
bage receptacle engineers—all are
guilty of muffling the cries for a clear
differentiation of personal responsibil-
ity. ll have to call my Malaysian drink-
ing buddy, Prime Minister Mahatir
Mohamad, and tell him that in a gra-
tuitous feat of irony, the only demo-
graphic I cannot find any reason to
accuse is none other than the Jews.

The bottom line is clear: if humanity
is going to get anywhere in the world,
it needs to start with the societal accep-
tance of separated powers. Someone
somewhere must establish a precedent
of overcoming the global conspiracy’s
suppression of this noble endeavour.
What better a place to start than on this
very campus, in a body that represents
the educated leaders of the future?

SELECTION COMMITTEE FOR DEAN OF THE FACULTY OF AGRICULTURE, FORESTRY AND HOME ECONOMICS

THE GATEWAY ¢ volume XCIII number 16

OPINION

9

Hey, nice truck, fuckface | Debt relief should be tuition debate focus

CAMERON
BARR

I'm not a stranger to travel; I make
it a point to visit as much of Canada
as I can. I can find something to cher-
ish pretty much anywhere I go—hell,
blasphemous as it is out here, I even
think Toronto’s a pretty nice city. Still,
I can't help but feel a little displaced
whenever I return to Alberta. It’s taken
me a while to stick my finger on it, but
I think I've finally identified the source
of my unease. It’s the trucks.

Surely, I'm not the only person
to notice this. Walking down Whyte
Avenue, you notice a pick-up drive by.
A purple one. One that’s never been
taken off-road in its existence, with a
huge-ass unused bed in the back, and
one row of seats with five people in it.
Of course, these people are crammed
closer together than anyone has a right
to be, short of some of the more exotic
forms of European pornography.

I realized, however, that these trucks
are everywhere. You can’t escape them.
And they aren't cheap, utilitarian vehi-
cles; they're fucking expensive! You
don't buy a $50 000 truck if you're
going to carry cargo, take it off-road,
and use it as trucks were designed by
God and General Motors to be used.
You buy a $50 000 vehicle as a status
symbol.

That’s what baffles me more than
anything. It’s an overpriced way to
assert your status of, what, cowboy?
Farmer? Construction worker? Except
actual cowboys, farmers, and con-

THURSDAY

Hhper How 4-7

SATURDAY

— LAYES Dame For
O Aiwost Freeé

Be pr

struction workers use those gargan-
tuan backsides on their trucks. You?
The guy who bought the F350 to drive
from St Albert to downtown? You're
a knob, and everyone who sees your
shiny, virginal truck knows it.

Now, there are many, many reasons
to love this city. You can be proud of
the largest urban park in the world. You
can be proud of one of the best univer-
sities in North America. You can even
be proud of our big-ass mall, which,
if you get past the whole “consumer-
ism = Satan” thing, is actually pretty
impressive. Why, then, do we choose
as our local touchstone our rural roots?

Most of us have grown up here or in
other cities, greater or lesser, and most
have had family living in cities for two
or more generations, but yet we con-
tinue to pride ourselves on a rural cul-
ture that we've never actually been a part
of, and we spend hundreds of thousands
of dollars on things that reinforce our
self-image as boys from the farm, if by
“farm” you mean “law office.”

Perhaps my gut revulsion to the
truck phenomenon runs deeper than
a mere love for practicality and hon-
esty. I don’t get all riled up when I see
somebody driving around in an over-
priced sports car with two seats and
luggage space for maybe three pairs
of socks. Perhaps I'm really afraid that
my roots run too deep here, that my
inner redneck will come bursting out
of my chest cavity like some kind of
bemulleted alien, all set to turn me
into a gay-bashin’, irrational-Ontario-
hatin’, good ol’ boy, can of chewing
tobacco included.

Or perhaps I’m just hypersensitive
about trucks. I should really get into
my practical, boring, cheap car and go
home. And if you can’t fit in your bud’s
truck, hey, I’ve got plenty of room.

$ 6 juGS OF GEER
7 TUL cost!

FRIDAY

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ICD AN - 16S. =i

WV, HTrEMAD Crossng—t—~S

The Students’ Union Executive fum-
bled the ball when they failed to
pick up on the momentum generated
by former president Mike Hudema’s
“Wall of Debt.” Students need to unite
with alumni to push for more debt
relief because our alumni understand
the joys of servicing their education
mortgages.

Students are graduating from this
post-secondary institution with the
equivalent of a mortgage to pay off
before they even get started in life.
I'd like to blame this on Paul Martin’s
1995 cuts to the Canada Health and
Social Transfer, but then again I'd like
to blame him for everything.

Public finance can help us to under-
stand why tuition has skyrocketed. In
public finance, there are two taxation
principles: the ability to pay principle
and the benefit principle. The former
holds that those who have the surplus
ought to pay the tax, while the latter
holds those who benefit from a service
ought to pay for it. Studies on educa-
tion have attempted to show that there
are greater private returns on educa-
tion after high school, implying a ben-
efit tax rule be used with respect to
educational funding.

The powers that be have determined
that we are the ones who benefit from
education, but if the quality of educa-
tion is suffering, is this so? If we need
education to move into a post-indus-
trial knowledge economy, won't our

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parents benefit from social services in
retirement?

Boomers are the “me” generation.
They all want to live forever and expect
us to contribute to that end. Spending
on healthcare is growing twice as fast
as the economy’s ability to grow. How
do they expect to fund this if they
don’t invest in our educations?

Student debt, while it allows for
greater access to education, is still a
regressive tax on the poorer among
us, mainly because the more one is
in debt, the more interest one has to
pay. It’s pointless to struggle for tuition
reduction when the real impact will
be felt for twenty years after gradua-
tion when interest payments eat into
your pocketbook. What’s a couple of
hundred bucks of tuition when rents
are flying through the roof? Are sav-
ings on books going to make a differ-
ence in my interest payments? Save me
a hundred dollars on tuition, Brechtel,
and I will spend that on Hoegaarden
rather than Heidegger. Either way, I’m

still in debt for the same amount.
Saving money on tuition does little to
reduce our debt loads, and ignores the
real long-term issue: interest and debt
repayment.

By focusing strictly on the tuition
issue, our SU is treating education like
any other consumer good, helping us
get that piece of paper at low, low
prices. This is the type of stuff we need
to move away from if we are to con-
vince Mom and Dad that we are not
“consuming” education, but that they
are investing in our human and social
capital, and henceforth, their retire-
ments as well.

I would ask past U of A alumni
to share their experiences of repaying
student debt, and that we as current
students think about the long-term
effects of our educational mortgages.
The alumni need to get active on the
debt issue, and we need to engage
them on it. The real tuition battle is not
over once we graduate. The alumni
will tell you it’s only begun.

DaveAlexander’s TOP TEN

Reasons you’re not celebrating Halloween

10 Toomany years in Chocoholics Anonymous to throw it all away now.

AN oo Oo

satanic roots.

Don’t want neighbourhood kids to wear out shiny new doorbell.

Too many horrible hair-metal memories of that ‘80s band Helloween.
Parents died in tragic apple-bobbing accident.

Bummed that crass commercialism has tragically overshadowed its

5 Couldn't find genetically modified apples with pins in them, and
you're too damn lazy to make your own.

4 It’sona Friday this year, which is your Hoagies ‘n Hookers Night.

3 Everyone will assume your Phantom of the Opera mask is part of

a costume.

2 Notrick-or-treaters showed up at your place last year when word got
out all you were giving away was advice.
1 Cages inthe basement still full with last year’s trick-or-treaters.

SAR AT
SLEAN

with Ann Vrietad

10) OPINION

thursday, 30 october, 2003

Technical mumbo-jumbo since 1910.

15

100
If you were volunteering for us
right now, you'd know what this
is too, you big ignoramus. Bam!
So get up here.

THE GATEWAY

Ort

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Uncle Kracker: why dont you just die?

JOSH
KJENNER

Television viewers are subjected to a
constant stream of garbage. Real real-
ity shows, fake reality shows, reality
shows with ugly guys in them, reality
shows with rich guys in them, King
of Queens—it’s enough to make me
want to change the term from “tele-
vision set” to “mega-high-flow shit
nozzle.” I mean, besides the occa-
sional hockey game or late-night,
bikini-laden party-line advert, there
is really nothing that justifies wasting
half an hour of good Internet check-
ers time to watch. Horrendously assy
shows span all networks and genres,
but there is one particular niche lead-
ing the feces-laden charge: award
shows.

More plentiful than urinary tractinfec-
tions and almost as irritating, award
shows are really starting to grind my ass.
The Oscars, the Grammys and maybe
even an occasional Soul Train Awards
were more than enough for me.

Heck, I’d even sit down and catch
a Juno or Gemini award show once
in a while (assuming, of course, that

there were no ditches to dig or rocks
to break). Now, it seems that every
time I turn on the old poo-hose, I see
nothing but Justin Timberlake strut-
ting up to a podium and accepting
a bronzed shuttlecock or some stupid
shit after the host makes a lame ass
Punk’d joke and the camera zooms in

More plentiful than
urinary tract infections
and almost as
irritating, award shows
are really starting to

grind my ass.

on Bruce Willis giving the peace sign.

What the hell happened? Apparently,
legions of rabid, mildly psychotic fans
who'd step over their respective moth-
ers, fathers and great aunts to smell
but one drop of sweat that fell out of
the crack of a celebrity’s ass weren't
enough of an ego boost for the owners
of said asses.

Nope, now it’s rigged so even the
shitstains can pick up a couple awards
a year. In a world where a 30-gallon
solution of ugly and soulpatch like
Uncle Kracker can win anything but a
round of blackout bingo, something is
sadly wrong.

My solution to this society-crip-
pling problem? First, feed Uncle
Kracker a cake iced with propane and
Drain-o. Second, chop out 90 per
cent of the award shows going right
now. Keep the five per cent that have
a better chance of getting a watch
than an armless man, and then maybe
leave five per cent for shits and pos-
sibly giggles, time permitting. This
would not only make TV a lot easier
to swallow, but free up precious net-
work prime time for commercials
sexily urging me to “pick up the
phone.”

Third, make some awards people
care about. I really don’t give a damn
if Nicolas Cage is a better actor
than Jack Nicholson—I want to know
who'd win in a junkyard brawl: Meryl
Streep or Halle Berry? I definitely
don’t need Justin’s drooling, fall-on-
the-floor, shoot-me-in-the-back-and-
stomp-out-my-front-teeth-with-baseball-
cleats hunkiness confirmed by 72 dif-
ferent award shows, but I sure wouldn’t
mind knowing who in the celebrity
world, could, for example, eat the
most mayonnaise in one sitting.

To the television executives and pro-
ducers of the world: the vast majority
of award shows eat mouthful after
mouthful of sick dirty ass, and I’m
tired of it. So I beg you: either cut out
all the shitty award shows, or kill that
honky Uncle Kracker.

American involvement improved the
Middle East situation

MEL
BACKSTROM

In case you missed it, there was
yet another rally this past weekend
organized by the Edmonton Coalition
Against War & Racism. It was about
time, really, as the anti-war crowd
has been conspicuously silent since
the massive bloodbath they predicted
would be the result of an American
invasion of Iraq—no less a figure than
Noam Chomsky predicted 500 000 to
750 000 civilian deaths—never actu-
ally happened.

Neither did the brutal house-to-
house combat that Gwynne Dyer, in
a speech here at the U of A last
spring, thought would result when
the American “invaders” made it to
Baghdad. Those pesky Iraqi’s instead
had the temerity to actually celebrate
the downfall of Saddam Hussein.

Didn’t they know that the Americans
and British were only there to take
their oil, and that they should celebrate
Saddam’s bravery—as ex-Labour MP
and good-buddy-of-Saddam George
Galloway did—for standing up to
American imperialism? How come all
those “human shields” who went over
to Iraq didn’t get the message through
that the possibility of living in the
first democratic Arab state was noth-
ing compared to the continuance of
the Baath party’s enlightened despo-
tism?

Co-sponsored by that tireless
defender of the People’s Democracy of
North Korea, International ANSWER,
the “international day of anti-war
action” last Saturday was an attempt
to remind Iraqis of how much worse
off they are now that America is

6e

ust think of it: a country where people are no

longer tortured and/or killed for exressing their
political opinions; a country where 60 independent
newspapers now freely exist; a country that will no
longer be run by a sadistic dictator and his sons who
looted billions of dollars from the country’s treasury...
Life under Saddam was, obviously, so much better.”

“occupying” their country and the
totalitarian nightmare—sorry, social-
ist paradise—they were living in for
the last 30 years is over. Just think
of it: a country where people are
no longer tortured and/or killed for
expressing their political opinions; a
country where over 60 independent
newspapers now freely exist; a coun-
try that will no longer be run by
a sadistic dictator and his sons who
looted billions of dollars from the
country’s treasury; a country whose
Kurdish and Shia citizens will never
again be the target of poison gas
and other forms of mass execution,
but will instead be able to actually
vote for their own leaders. Life under
Saddam was, obviously, just so much
better.

That's why America has to with-
draw its troops from Iraq. With them
out of the way, the Baath party could
re-form and again impose its benevo-
lent rule over the now suffering Iraqi
people. Though his heroic sons Uday
and Qussay are no more, Saddam
might still be alive and, being only
66 years old, could possibly bless
Iraq with his rule for another twenty
years.

Last Saturday’s protest was also to push
for Canadian troops to be taken out
of Afghanistan. The Taliban, you see,
have been having a hard time ever since
American troops arrived two years ago.
With no more international troops there
to protect that capitalist toadie, Hamid
Karzai, the Taliban could re-establish

their rightful, Allah-ordained rule of
that country now suffering under the
Crusader-imposed heresies of rights for
women and (the horror!) music and
dancing. How dare the Canadian gov-
ernment participate in this blatant act of
western imperialism?

As for the continued state terrorism
of the United States against Iran, Syria,
Lebanon, Somalia and Sudan, well,
what more can I say? Iran, despite
having the second largest known oil
reserves in the world, is building a
nuclear reactor not to re-process ura-
nium so that they can build a nuclear
bomb, but solely for peaceful pur-
poses. Their support of Hezbollah is
only on account of its rightful resis-
tance to Israeli occupation of Lebanon.
The fact that it ended over two years
ago is a slight problem, I know, but
let’s just forget about that.

Same goes for Syria, which also sup-
ports Hezbollah, and also Islamic Jihad
and Hamas in their continued struggle
against the Zionist invaders by peace-
fully watching over and taking care
of their Lebanese brothers and sisters.
Poor Somalia and Sudan are often for-
gotten about, but trust me: all their
problems are America’s and/or Israel’s
fault too.

I hope you've understood how
important this all is. We must stand
together and fight for the rights of
Saddam Hussein, the Taliban and the
Palestinian martyrs who blow up
Israeli women and children. We shall
overcome. Solidarity forever!

THE GATEWAY ¢ volume XCIII number 16

ADVERTISEMENT |

STUDENTS’ UNION PAGE

OCTOBER 30 2003

YOUR CAMPUS LIFE

JADENE MAH
Your Vice President Student Life

What she does: She watches over all the non-academic aspects
of student life, from working with residences to planning
events like Week of Welcome (which is an official way of saying
she tries to make sure you have fun and are safe at university)

Where you'll find her: Greeting students on the steps of the
Powerplant at Ship Night, enjoying iced teas at RATT, watching
Pandas Volleyball games, hanging out with the fabulous crew
at Campus Rec, and dishing ice cream at SUBstage.

Why you'll love her: Those dimples that got her elected, stop
by and visit her and tell her what your favorite part of Student
Life is on campus — and... she usually has candy in her office!

ANNA GRIMSRUD
Your Student Activities Coordinator

What she does: She assists the Vice President Student Life,
throws an awesome Christmas party for 500 little kids, works
like crazy on WOW, Antifreeze, programming initiatives

Where you'll find her: Watching the Bachelor, wearing a Santa
hat and covered in icing at the Students’ Union Christmas for
Kids Party.

Why you'll love her: Her energy and absolute focus on doing
things for students

YOUR STUDENTS’ UNION
PROGRAMMING COMMITTEE AND
STUDENT LIFE BOARD!

Matt, Terra, Chris, Kelsey, Meilai, James, Miranda, Meisha, Omer,
Tyler, Allison, Duncan, Alvin, Lita, Lindsay, Jamie and Tawfiq.

What they do: These fabulous students advise the Vice President
Student Life, plan many of the wicked cool events you see
— like WOW, Antifreeze, Wellness Week and stuff at the
Powerplant, and discuss many other campus issues such as
student health and wellness and safety.

Where you'll find them: Often in gaudy-coloured T-Shirts
uber-volunteering all over campus, dancing it up at the U
of A Dance Club or at the Powerplant, snapping photos of
interesting students, Safewalking, analyzing student wellness,
demonstrating their flair bartending skills, helping out with
Orientation, baking dozens of pies, playing the Dating Game
or Name That Tune at the Plant and making the popcorn on
Monday nights at Dewey’s Movie Night.

Why you'll love them: Their infectious spirit, big smiles and total
love for our campus community.

Movie Night
Mondays

Join your fellow students for a
movie and popcorn at Dewey's!

November 3: Matrix Premiere Party
(also at SUB Stage)
Matrix

November 17: Save the World Night
The Rock
Armageddon

November 24: Dream Boat Night
Minority Report
Interview with the Vampire

December 1: Lord of the Rings Night
(also at SUB Stage)

Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

www.su. uvalberta.ca/movienights

Antifreeze

So the snow has started to fly here on campus... obviously
time to start thinking about unthawing and the start of next
semester's fun and games here at the U of A. That's right folks,
it’s already time to start thinking about AntiFreeze and the
beginnings of this week-long annual frozen party.

Antifreeze: January 5-10, 2004

+ New Divisions
Avalanche Division - Take part in day events and evening events
Iceberg Division - Take part in evening events only!

+ New Entries
Team Entry
Already have a team of 13 buddies?
Enter a team of 10 and 3 alternates
Individual Entry
Want to participate, but don’t have a team yet?
Enter as a free agent & we'll assign you to a fabulous team!
Battle of the Bands Entry
Have a band? Have a band that is good? Enter your band
in the Antifreeze Battle of the Bands (January 10, 2004).
This event is exclusive of the Antifreeze team events (teams
contributing bands will not receive extra points).

+ New Spirit Award

So maybe your team sucked at the actual Antifreeze events, at
least you tried and you were loud! Wina prize for the team with
the most zest, green and gold spirit, and ultimate love for your
campus community and fellow competitors!

+ Registration
Register your team, or register as a free agent!
November 20, 2003, 4:30 PM at SUBstage

Pick up your registration packages starting November 6 at SU
Info Desks in SUB, HUB and CAB or online. For more information,
call 492-4236 or e-mail vp.studentlife@su.ualberta.ca or visit
www.su.ualberta.ca/antifreeze.

YOUR 2003/2004 SU EXECUTIVE
492.4236

President: Mat Brechtel
president@su.ualberta.ca

Vice-President Academic: Janet Lo
vp.academic@su.ualberta.ca

Vice-President External: Chris Samuel
vp.external@su.ualberta.ca

Vice-President Operations & Finance: Tyler Botten
vp.finance@su.ualberta.ca

Vice-President Student Life: Jadene Mah
vp.studentlife@su.ualberta.ca

UPCOMING SU EVENTS:

Oct. 31: Monster Mash

@ Dinwoodie Lounge; tix @ SUB & CAB
Nov. 1: Halloween Show

Forty Foot Echo, Dizzy Piranha, Broken Angel @ Powerplant
Nov. 1-2: “Green is Gold” Eco-conference

@ SUB
Nov. 6: Sarah Slean

@ Myer Horowitz with Ann Vriend; tix @ Ticketmaster
Nov. 8: Be Bop Cortez

@ Powerplant with Heavy Metal Concepts, Mayor McCa
Nov. 9: Broken Social Scene with guests Stars and Jason
Collett

@ Powerplant; tix @ Ticketmaster
Nov. 14: Revolutionary Speaker Series

Michael Parenti @ Myer Horowitz
Nov. 15: Uncas Old Boys

@ Powerplant with Wowzers, Grassroot
Nov. 16: Revolutionary Speaker Series

Naomi Klein @ Myer Horowitz

ENTER FOR YOUR MONTHLY
CHANCE TO WIN GREAT PRIZES

Name:

| Phone:
|

| Email:
|

|

| Send to or drop off at 2-900 SUB. Edmonton ABT6G 2J7
Draw date: October 31 2003

A FRIENDLY REMINDER to all students,
staff, alumni and guests at campus bars & events:
Show your ID!

Valid, government issued photo ID must be on your person and
presented to staff at any licensed event on campus. (Driver's
License and Passports are best!) Mealcards, International
Student Cards and Alberta Health Care cards are not valid.

Please cooperate with our staff when ID is requested, as they are
doing their best to ensure that the safety of students and the
rules of the AGLC are critically attended to!

STUDENTS
ION

ee

SU website: www.su.ualberta.ca | SU webboard: http:/Avebboard.su.ualberta.ca | Students’ Council website: www.su.ualberta.ca/council
SU Info Listserv: Email majordomo@majordomo.su.ualberta.ca and put “subscribe su-info” in the body of the email

- . / AN
(2 FEATURE try 30 cto, 2008 TBGxmmvAy + volume Nom number ATURE 13

Pe
@
>. on
WUD

IT WAS EARLY NOVEMBER.

ONE WOMAN IN TOWN

FOR STORYTELLER

“OH...YOU MEAN EMILY,

Words: Leal Collins
buitlin Crawshaw; Ashley Lensen; SrisT2e

SPORTS

THE PEP RALLY

Football

The superfly Bears (4-4) storm into the playoffs for
the first time since 1993 this weekend. They travel
east to Saskatoon to meet the rabid University of
Saskatchewan Huskies, who beat the Bears twice
this year, probably due to doping or referee paying.
At any rate, the game starts at 12:30pm in fruit
town and can be heard on CJSR FM88 as called by
Bob “Rod Phillips’ Stauffer, starting with the pre-
game at 12:15pm. If the Bears win, it will be their
first postseason win since 1987. To put that in con-
text, the Montreal Alouettes, who did not play foot-
ball between 1987 and 1996, have won no less than
three Grey Cups in that time. As well, | was born in
the relatively recent year of 1984. Ouch.

Rugby

Football Junior, otherwise known as rugby, action
returns to the University this weekend as the
Pandas, fresh off of winning their fifth consecutive
Western championship, are hosting the 2003 CIS
Championships. The Pandas, in stark contrast to
the football team, have won the championship four
years running, incidentally as longas they have been
around. So if you'd like to see both a winning team
and my cousins play rugby, check them out Friday
at 10am when they make St Francis Xavier pray
for mercy and again at 12:30pm when they make
UBC look worse than your cheap-ass hobo cos-
tume out at Strathcona Rugby Park in Sherwood
Park. As more incentive to win, Managing Editor
Adam Rozenhart promises he will change his name
to Adam “Rugby’-hart if the Pandas win the gold
medal at 1:30pm on Sunday.

Soccer

This weekend would be a good time for the
Bears (9-2-2) to step it up; step it up, because it’s
playoff time. The Bears, who despite intense early
media speculation did not finish undefeated, travel
out to Saskatoon to meet the UBC Thunderbirds at
10:30am Friday. After that they have to hang around
in Saskatchewan until 1pm Sunday, when the gold
medal game gets underway.

Also not playing on (this means they're playing off)
are the Pandas (8-2-4), who make the trek down to
Lethbridge for the Canada West championships this
weekend. They take on the University of Victoria at
diam Saturday, then can be seen winning gold at
1:30pm Sunday. Neither of our soccer teams have
their games broadcast, which is a shame, because |
for one would love to hear Bob Stauffer screaming
“GOOOOOOCOOOOAAAAAL!!!”

Volleyball

Punch isn’t going to be the only thing spiked this
Halloween weekend as the Pandas (1-1) get ready
to pound the hardwood in the Main Gym. In town
are the all-too-familiar University of Saskatchewan
Huskies, who are looking to lose at 6:15pm both
Friday and then again on Saturday.

Basketball

First of all, the basketball playing Bears host the
Edmonton Journal Invitational in the Main Gym this
weekend. They play the evil Brock Badgers 8:15pm
Thursday, the spooky Victoria Vikes at 8:15pm on All
Hallows Eve and the dastardly U of C Dinos at, you
guessed it, 8:15pm Saturday.

Flames continue to suck; | have Oilers tickets

Barely enough room for what's really important, my
comments. | have tickets to the Oilers vs Red Wings
on Saturday night, so | can cheer my Oilers, who
have had a rough go of late, on to victory in person.
Also of importance is the fact that the Gateway is
populated by a fairly high number of Flames fans
(well, two, but that’s way “two” many) meaning that
our taste in hiring editors and picking volunteers,
has been sharply declining lately. This must be rem-
edied, so if you like the Oilers, consider volunteering
for our illustrious paper.

“SEXY” DAVE BERRY
Sports Propagandist

sports@gateway.ualberta.ca ¢ thursday, 30 october, 2003

i

FILE PHOTO: MATT FREHNER

ARE YOU READY TO RUCK?! The Pandas look to win their fifth-straight CIS National Rugby Championship this weekend at Strathcona Rugby Park.

Rugby Pandas host CIS Championship

RYAN OHASHI
Sports Staff

After yet another dominant showing at the
Canada West Conference Championships two
weeks ago in Victoria, the University of Alberta
will attempt to win a fifth straight national
title this weekend at the CIS Women’s Rugby
National Championships being played at the
Strathcona Rugby Park. The Pandas go into this
year’s championship once again undefeated,
outscoring their opponents by a 89-12 in their
four Can West games on their way to a fifth
straight conference title.

Led by captain and Can West tournament
MVP Katie Murray, this year’s team includes 17
players with previous CIS Championship expe-
rience and boasts a very well rounded and phys-
ically strong lineup.

When asked about the team’s strengths,
Murray responded, “I think this year, it is sort
of all over the place; we don’t necessarily have
only a strong pack and just fast backs or just fast
backs and no strong pack, it’s really just every-

where we have great centers and wings and a
good forward pack still.”

Aside from Murray, the Pandas will look for
leadership from players such as scrum half
Bonnie Yu (2001 CIS Championship MVP),
and outside centre Natalie Mailman. Mailman
scored six tries at the Can West, the majority
of which came from connecting with veteran
inside centre Kate Hamilton, who is the only
remaining player from all four of the Pandas
previous National Championship teams. “If any-
thing, I would say we're faster and fitter this
year than any other year,” said Hamilton.

Aside from experience, head coach Helen Wright
(who has coached the Pandas to an astounding
15-1 CIS Championship record) attributed much
of the teams continued success to their work ethic,
focus, and hard work as a team.

“We really challenge them to work. It’s harder
to retain a level of performance and build on
it then it is to actually get there, and it’s [even]
harder to stay there,” said Wright. “So the chal-
lenge for these girls is to put that quality of per-
formance on the field with consistency.”

There’s an added pressure of not only being
the four-time defending Champions, but also
playing in front of a home crowd for the first
time in a CIS Championship. “[The pressure] is
definitely there, but I think most of the girls are
just excited about playing at home, except for this
weather,” said Hamilton.

Team captain Murray added that “There is
definitely pressure, but I think we are pretty
confident as far as we know that we've done as
much as we could have, or can, to get us ready
for this weekend.”

The other teams challenging for the CIS title
this weekend include UBC and St Francis Xavier,
who, along with Alberta, occupy Pool A. Pool B
includes McGill, Lethbridge, and the only team
to ever gain a win over the Pandas, the
University of Western Ontario. Round-robin
matchups will be played within the pools
Friday, with the top two teams from each pool
advancing to Saturday’s semi-finals, followed
by the bronze and gold medal games at 11:30am
and 1:30pm, respectively, on championship
Sunday.

Bears gear up for last preseason basketball tournament

ERIN LOXAM
Sports Staff

Last year, the Bears basketball team endured a
disappointing semifinal exit from the national
championships with a five-point loss to Guelph
that prevented the Bears from defending their
2001/02 banner. Though re-addressing last year’s
finish may be salt in the wound for the team,
maybe that recollection is all that will be needed
to take them back to the finals this year.

The core of the team who suffered the upset
loss at last year’s championships will return this
year, and longtime coach Don Horwood hopes
to make a run for the team’s second champion-
ship in the last three years.

“Our expectations for every year of the last
eight or ten years is that we have the chance to
win a national championship,” said Horwood.
His words may seem like the cliched boastings
of a confident head coach, but the Bears have
attended eight of the last ten national champi-
onships, and have won the title three of those
attempts.

If the team pushes for another banner, there
will be three individuals relied upon for much of
the work. Captain Phil Scherer, in his final year

of eligibility, had a summer to recover from a
late season ankle injury, as well as the opportu-
nity to bring home a bronze medal from South
Korea with the National University Games team.
As a first team all-star last year, the 64” guard is
expected to be one of the top performers in the
country.

As well, keep an eye out for up-and-coming
players Mike Melnychuk and Phil Sudol; the
former emerged as a leader last season, and looks
to average over 25 points per game, while the
latter got a rave review from his coach, who said
“Phil is our inside power game. He's extremely
athletic, he’s very versatile and can score inside
or outside.”

These players and their teammates will be
demonstrating their talents in the Edmonton
Journal Golden Bears Invitational this weekend
at the main gym. The competition will be
coming from within the province (University
of Calgary Dinos), the conference (University of
Victoria Vikes) and the country (Brock University
Badgers). Calgary hasn't missed a beat from last
season when they played the U of A in the
Canada West final. Like the U of A, they haven't
lost any key players, and look to build on the suc-
cess of last year. The Vikes might not be the team

they were in the early ‘80s (winning an unbe-
lieveable seven national titles in a row during
the decade), but they are consistently one of the
top teams in the west. Brock is representative of
the strong Ontario system, where they will likely
emerge as one of the better teams.

The Bears play Thursday, Friday and Saturday
at 8:15pm each night in the main gym. Horwood
safely predicts, “I’m expecting some very excit-
ing basketball action this weekend.”

THE GATEWAY ¢ volume XCIII number 16

SPORTS 5

V-ball Pandas host Huskies

Squad returns after splitting matches in Calgary

CHRIS O'LEARY
Sports Staff

The Pandas Volleyball team prepared
Wednesday afternoon for their upcom-
ing weekend matches with the
University of Saskatchewan Huskies.
They were split up into three groups:
two working on defense and hitting,
and one group doing footwork drills;
the atmosphere is intense. That’s not
to say they’re not having fun, as there’s
smiles being cracked here and there,
but this team is working hard.

“We want to win it all.” Head Coach
Laurie Eisler makes no hesitation in
saying what she wants to see her team
accomplish as she looks ahead to the
upcoming season, which opens Friday
night against the Huskies at 7pm. And
if youre going to compete, why not
play to win? Watching the Pandas vol-
leyball squad practice this week, it
seems that they’ve bought into Eisler’s
philosophy. The Pandas’ practices have
the same intensity and exuberant com-
munication that has been seen in the
Panda’s games so far in the preseason.

This weekend, the Pandas face the
Huskies, a team that they played
against in late September and defeated
3-2. Coach Eisler is looking forward
to the challenge, as she sees both
squads evenly matched. “They're
(Saskatchewan) a young team with a
lot of offense and good blocking. We
beat them in September, but overall I
think we're pretty equal.” If this young
team can bring their A-game to the
Main Gym this weekend, the match
up should prove to be a good one.
Leading the charge for the Pandas are
sides Chelsea Grimson and Tawana
Wardlaw, who’s front row presence
has given their opponents a lot of trou-

ble so far this year in exhibition play.

As far as a game plan goes, expect
to see the same type of energetic
hustle the Pandas have given through-
out the preseason. Eisler appears to
be pleased with her team’s perfor-
mance, and doesn’t plan on making
any major adjustments with the team.
“T wouldn’t say we'll be making any
major changes or anything. Right now
we're just fine-tuning, tweaking every-
thing and just making sure we're ready
for this weekend,” she says.

The Pandas meet the Huskies both

Friday and Saturday evening in the
Main Gym at 7pm, and will have next
weekend off in preparation of their
away matches against Manitoba on 14
and 15 November.

FILEPHOTO: NICK WIEBE
HOME OPENER Huskies beware.

Farewell, dear Trappers; youll be missed

Memories of John Ducey Park, hotdogs and fireworks will always remain

DAN
KASZOR

n
ae aa}

Production
Editor

Let’s face it; the Trappers will probably
do better in Texas than they ever did
in Edmonton. Most likely they'll get
a TV deal and play in a real stadium
that can hold more than the meager
five thousand people that Telus Field
provides. The Trap will be owned by
former Rangers pitcher Nolan Ryan, a
Texas hero with a Texas attitude. And
people will care.

The writing has been on the wall for
a Trapper’s move for a while, but that
doesn’t mean that the end of Canada’s
presence in the Pacific Coast league
and the loss of a team that gave me
so many great childhood memories
won't be a crying shame.

When I was six, my dad took me
to my first Trappers game. I believe
the motivation for going was that
they were giving away free baseball
helmets—the cheap plastic kind that
wouldn't protect you from anything:
and I wanted to have one. I don't
really remember who won the game,
but I do remember getting a foot-long
hotdog and enjoying an afternoon
with my dad.

Over the years, I have had many
such lazy summer days enjoying the
Trappers at John Ducey Park. We
played ancient video games under-
neath the grandstands, and took the
Pepsi taste test.

We saw a young, star Tim Salmon
belt homeruns out of the park and

oohed and aahed at the fantastic fire-
works show that they put on the day
before Canada Day every year.

The first sign that the jig might be
up for the Trappers came in 1993,
when they lost their affiliation with
the California Angels and were re-
assigned to the Florida Marlins.

It seems that the Angels were
complaining about long plane trips
to Edmonton and cold weather ruin-
ing games (two problems which
were exacerbated with the expansion
Marlins, which is why they dropped
the Trap, too). The classic Trapper
red and white uniforms were replaced
with god-awful Marlins neon tur-
quoise and white. It just went down-
hill from there.

The Edmonton
Eskimos sold the
Trappers without
consulting the public,
because they knew
they didn't need to.

Over the next few years, the
Trappers would cycle through several
major league team associations, never
lasting very long with any of them.
The last two Trapper parent teams
were easily the most logical choices
geographically, the Minnesota Twins
(physically closest) and the Montréal
Expos, but they already had problems
of their own.

Switching parent teams every
second season meant that the minor
league problem of losing players each
year was amplified; the squad usually

had 100 per cent turnover, with no
players for fans to latch on to from
season to season.

As the years went on, more and
more teams left Canada to greener pas-
tures in the United States. The beer-
alicious Vancouver Canadians moved
south first to Sacramento, and pretty
much everyone else followed suit.
The popular Calgary Cannons’ move
last year was the final sign for me; I
knew the Trappers’ days in Edmonton
were numbered.

With no Canadian teams to play,
local rivalries were gone and Edmonton
was left eight million kilometres from
anywhere else with a team.

When I go to games now, I notice
that the joy seems gone from the
endeavour. Although I still find it a
fun way to spend a summer day, less
people seem to agree with me. The
stands more often than not are half
empty and the overflow parking lot
is rarely full anymore. On the rare
occasion that the bleachers are packed,
it’s usually because hundreds of tickets
were given away.

The Edmonton Eskimos sold the
Trappers without consulting the
public, because they knew they didn’t
need to. With the exception of a few
key media figures and a handful of
diehard fans, Edmontonians stopped
caring about the Trappers quite a
while ago.

I just hope that during their last
season in Edmonton, people give the
Trappers a try and spend a day out at
the ballpark, even if the faces on the
team are unfamiliar and they’re play-
ing Albuquerque instead of Calgary.
But for this last season of AAA baseball
in Edmonton, at least the hot dogs will
stay just as tasty.

SELECTION COMMITTEE FOR DEAN OF THE FACULTY OF MEDICINE AND DENTISTRY

WHAT'S IN A CaPS WORKSHOP?

Find out what CaPS learned from recent employer surveys that showed us what is

expected of your resume & interview process. Pre-register today at CaPS, 2-100 SUB.

GRADUATE STUDENTS

¢ The Academic Interview - For Students in Arts & Related Areas
Wednesday, November 12, 2003, 1:30 - 3:30 p.m.; 4-02 SUB

¢ The Academic Interview —- For Students in Science & Related Areas
Thursday, November 13, 2003, 1:30 - 3:30 p.m.; 4-02 SUB

In order to run these workshops, we require five registrants prior to Friday, November 7, 2003

EDUCATION STUDENTS

¢ Looking for Teaching Positions
Wednesday, November 5, 2003; 4:30 - 6 p.m.; 4-02 SUB
¢ Creating a Teaching Application package
Thursday, November 6, 2003; 4:30 = 7:30 p.m.; 4-02 SUB OR Saturday, December 13, 2003; 9 a.m. = 12 p.m.; 4-02 SUB
¢ Building a Teaching Portfolio
Wednesday, November 12, 2003; 4:30 - 6:30 p.m.; 4-02 SUB
® Interview Skills
Thursday, November 13, 2003; 4:30 - 7 p.m.; 4-02 SUB OR Saturday, December 13, 2003; 1 - 3:30 p.m.; 4-02 SUB

PHYSICAL EDUCATION & RECREATION STUDENTS

¢ Career Selection

Saturday, November 1, 2003; 9 a.m. - 12 p.m.; 2-100 SUB
¢ Resume Writing

Saturday, November 8, 2003; 9 - 11:30 a.m.; 4-02 SUB
¢ Interview Skills

Saturday, November 8, 2003; 12:30 - 3 p.m.; 4-02 SUB

SCIENCE STUDENTS

° Career Selection
Saturday, November 1, 2003; 1 — 4 p.m.; 2-100 SUB

ARTS & BUSINESS STUDENTS

¢ Career Selection for Students in Arts

Sat., Nov. 8, 2003, 10 a.m. -1 p.m.; 2-100 SUB
¢ Resume Writing (Arts/Bus)

Sat., Nov. 15, 2003, 9- 11:30 a.m.; 4-02 SUB
Interview Skills (Arts/Bus)

Sat., Noy. 15, 2003, 12:30 - 3 p.m.; 4-02 SUB

STUDENTS OF ALL FACULTIES

¢ Career Decision Making Strategies
Sunday, November 2, 2003; 10 a.m. = 1 p.m.; 2-100 SUB

SELF-EMPLOYMENT WORKSHOPS

¢ Developing a Business Plan That Works
Fri., Nov. 14, 2003; 1:30 - 4 p.m.; 4-02 SUB

¢ From Principle to Promotion: Marketing for the Self-Employed
Fri., Nov. 21, 2003; 1:30 - 4 p.m.; 4-02 SUB

AGRICULTURE, FORESTRY & HOME ECONOMICS STUDENTS

¢ Resume Writing

Sat., Nov. 22, 2003; 9- 11:30 a.m.; 4-02 SUB
¢ Interview Skills

Sat., Nov. 22, 2003; 12:30 — 3 p.m.; 4-02 SUB

Watch our web site for a listing for next term: www.ualberta.ca/caps
Note: There is a fee for our workshops — fee & A
CAPS

schedule on the Web or at CaPS.

As you know, Dr. Tyrrell’s term as Dean of the Faculty of Medicine and Dentistry will end on June
30, 2004 and an advisory Selection Committee has been established in accordance with University
regulations to begin the search for a new Dean.

At this point in its deliberations, the Selection Committee needs your opinions on the leadership
needs of the Faculty in the years ahead and any other key issues. Individuals are urged to contact
members of the Committee, or write to me as Chair, to express your views on priorities of the Fa-
culty, current issues, and the future direction of the Faculty. In order to facilitate the committee's
work, could I please ask that you submit your comments by November 20.

In addition, individuals who may wish to stand as a candidate are invited to apply. Individuals may

also nominate others who they feel would be suitable candidates.

The selection of a Dean is vital to the success of the Faculty. I would therefore ask you all to take
the time, even at this hectic point in the academic year, to give some thought to the future of your
Faculty.

Your views are important to us and will be solicited again later in the process with an opportunity,
at that time, to meet and question our final short-listed candidates at public forums. Thank you

for your assistance.

Please forward your comments to the address below or to any member of the Dean Selection Committee
(contact information below):

Carl Amrhein

Provost and Vice-President (Academic) and Chair

Deans Selection Committee Faculty of Medicine and Dentistry
2-10 University Hall, University of Alberta

Edmonton, AB T6G 2J9

E-Mail: provost@ualberta.ca

DEAN SELECTION COMMITTEE MEMBERSHIP
Faculty of Medicine and Dentistry
Contact Information:

Carl Amrhein 492-3443 provost@ualberta.ca

Gary Kachanoski 492-5353 gary.kachanoski@ualberta.ca
Mark Dale 492-3499 mark,dale@ualberta.ca

Jody Ginsberg 492-5980 jody.ginsberg@ualberta.ca
Chris Cheeseman 407-8851 chris.cheeseman@ualberta.ca
Victor Tron 492-9674 vtron@cha.ab.ca

Ray Rajotte 492-1211 rrajotte@ualberta.ca

Mary Hurlburt 433-4211 mbhurlburt@cha.ab.ca
Stephen Archer 407-6353 sarcher@cha.ab,ca

Tim McGaw 492-5195 wmcgaw@ualberta.ca

Mike Belosevic 492-6367 mike.belosevic@ualberta.ca
Jason Maynes 492-3006 jason@biochem.ualberta.ca
Kathy Lo 231-1486 klo@ualberta.ca

Sheila Weatherill 407-1000 sweather@cha.ab.ca

Robert Burns 423-4764 rab@cpsa.ab.ca

Sandy Murray 342-5400 sjmurraymd@shaw,ca

Jack Scott 433-4907

Michael Robb 492-0647 michael.robb@ualberta.ca

16 SPORTS

thursday, 30 october, 2003

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SrEe

Sports
Commentary

If you're anything like me, sports
fanaticism is something that comes
fairly naturally. This is why it was with
great interest that I picked up a copy
of a recent Edmonton “publication”
that featured an article on the rules of
fandom.

However, after reading a few lines of
the opinions of this so-called “writer”
on how one should go about being a
fan, including switching allegiances,
rooting for the players rather than the
team and not caring about ownership,
it was quite obvious that this dimwit
had never cheered for anything more
important than the “D” final at the
Rusty McFuckstick’s Neighbourhood
Pub & Bait Shop’s annual Foosball-
a-Thon. So sit back boys and girl,
while Uncle Dave tells you what it
really means to be a fan, and not just
some prettyboy “sportswriter” with
no backbone or morals.

RULE ONE: LOYALTY

This rule is number one fora reason.
More important than anything else
you ll ever do is to find a team and stick
with it through thick and thin. There
is some flexibility that can be given
to youngsters, but once you've reached
20, you had damn well better know
whom you're cheering for. Whether
they win the championship or finish
dead last, whether they're a bunch of
respectable do-gooders or a team of
ex-cons and drug addicts, no matter

COME | WATCH US

play’

www. bears.ualberta.ca

Pandas CIS Championships
Friday, Oct. 31

Pandas Rugby
Strathcona Rugby
Field

$15 (non-UofA students)

- Sunday, Nov. 02
Call 492-BEAR for game times

A super-guide to super-fandom

“Ryan Smyth and Kevin Lowe could kick me in the
groin, gang-rape my dog and set fire to my house
with my extended family inside, and I would still be
running naked down Whyte Ave painted blue and
copper singing Queen’s ‘We Are the Champions’ the
next time the Oilers win the Cup.”

what happens, you cheer for this team
for as long as you are still conscious,
and in certain cases well after your
death. Ryan Smyth and Kevin Lowe
could kick me in the groin, gang-rape
my dog and set fire to my house
with my extended family inside,
and I would still be running naked
down Whyte Ave painted blue and
copper singing Queen’s “We Are the
Champions” the next time the Oilers
win the Cup.

RULETWO: LOYALTY
Much like Fight Club, it’s just that
important.

RULE THREE: RIVALRY

Once you have your team to cheer
for, it’s imperative that you find some
teams to hate, because let’s face it, your
team won't play every night, and if
you want to consider yourself a true
fan youre going to need some reason
to care. Hating a team with every fibre
of your soul allows you to remain
constantly involved as a fan, as well
as allowing you to use all those clever
swear words you hear on TV these days
to describe your rivals’ players and
their various ineptitudes. Watching
these baseball playoffs wouldn't have
been half as much fun as it was for
me if I didn’t get to call Derek Jeter
a “shit-eating fuckface” every time he
came up to bat. And there is nothing,
mark my words, nothing, more thrill-

SELECTION COMMITTEE FOR DEAN OF THE FACULTY OF REHABILITATION MEDICINE

As you know, Dr. Cook's term as Dean of the Faculty of Rehabilitation Medicine will end on
June 30, 2004 and an advisory Selection Committee has been established in accordance with
University regulations to begin the search for a new Dean.

At this point in its deliberations, the Selection Committee needs your opinions on the leader-
ship needs of the Faculty in the years ahead and any other key issues. Individuals are urged to

contact members of the Committee, or write to me as Chair, to express your views on priorities

of the Faculty, current issues, and the future direction of the Faculty. In order to facilitate the
committee's work, could I please ask that you submit your comments by November 20.

In addition, individuals who may wish to stand as a candidate are invited to apply. Individuals

may also nominate others who they feel would be suitable candidates.

The selection of a Dean is vital to the success of the Faculty. I would therefore ask you all to
take the time, even at this hectic point in the academic year, to give some thought to the future
of your Faculty.

Your views are important to us and will be solicited again later in the process with an opportun-
ity, at that time, to meet and question our final short-listed candidates at public forums. Thank

you for your assistance.

Please forward your comments to the address below or to any member of the Dean Selection Committee
(contact information below):

Carl Amrhein
Provost and Vice-President (Academic) and Chair Dean Selection
Committee Faculty of Rehabilitation Medicine
2-10 University Hall, University of Alberta
Edmonton, AB T6G 2J9

E-Mail: provost@ualberta.ca

Volleyball Pandas DEAN SELECTION COMMITTEE MEMBERSHIP
Main Gym Friday, Oct. 31 Faculty of Rehabilitation Medicine
Contact Information:
Saturday, Nov. 01
vs. Saskatchewan, 6:15 pm Carl Amrhein 492-3443
Bill McBlain 492-5320
Teresa Krukoff 492-5920
Karen Pollock 492-5980
Bears Michele Crites Battié 492-5968
asketpa
Main Gym Thursday, Oct. 30 vs. Brock, 8:15 pm ee oe
(FREE for UofA students) Robert Lederer 492-6367
DINO Friday, Oct. 31 vs. Victoria, 8:15 pm ee ci ee
= . aque. ine C. ister ke
Extinction Tour Saturay, Nov. 01 vs. Calgary, 8:15 pm June Norris 498-3396
Buy a T-shirt for $20 Donna Gravelle 413-5023
Get every Anne Lopushinsky 944-1609
UofA vs Calgary game for [ELE : Grant Fedoruk 466-1101
$10 (UofA students) Saturay, Nov. 01 vs. Alumni, 2:00 pm Cad Bhan 492-0329

ing than letting loose with a hail of
obscenities anytime you see a rival fan.
For example: “Joel Chury, you Flames-
cheering fuck. Fuck you're stupid,
don't you realize how much the Flames
suck? And youre ugly, fuckwad!” or
something to that effect.

RULE FOUR: SPORTSMANSHIP

No matter how much you hate the
other team, or how obvious it is they
are a bunch of store-bought, heartless
goons and their fans are useless wastes
of skin, it’s important to remember
that it is just a game, and in the
end you'll just get slapped with a
restraining order if you repeatedly
phone a rival fan in the middle of
the night, ominously whispering the
words “we'll get you next time.” So
when it’s all said and done, shake
hands, admit it was the better team
that won, and certainly don’t poison
your rival’s fish, because the poor crea-
ture might not have deserved to die
just because the Oilers can’t score a
powerplay goal.

HANSON BROTIER)

BUUSTER

SUPERFANS Bring on the boosters.

provost@ualberta.ca
bill.mcblain@ualberta.ca
teresa.krukoff@ualberta.ca
karen,pollock@ualberta.ca
michele.battie@ualberta.ca
paul.hagler@ualberta.ca
tammy.hopper@ualberta.ca
rlederer@ualberta.ca
Icchen@ualberta.ca
cmj10@ualberta.ca
june.norris@millardhealth.com
donnagravelle@telus.net
registrar@acslpa,ab,ca
gfedoruk@telusplanet.net

carol.ebert@ualberta.ca

A&E:

SOCAL
INTERCOURSE

Our illustrious Arts and Entertainment Writers go
out and get the skinny on what's happening over the
weekend and into next week so you don’t have to.

RockyHorror Picture Show
Garneau Theatre
Saturday, 1 November (12am)

So you don’t think the Rocky Horror Picture Show is
“cool” anymore? Well, who stuck a lame bug down
your stockings? This movie is more than just a clas-
sic, its an institution—and remains to be the one
and only reason all those Uber-macho frat boys are
allowed to appear in public in their favourite bustier
and blond wig.

Of course, if youwere, as my mom puts it, bornin
a barn, and you've never heard of the movie, here’s
a quick rundown: a respectable young couple end
up stranded at the castle ofa transvestite alien mad
scientist in a screaming set of platforms and end
up experiencing a night of sexual adventure, horror
and of course, cross-dressing. And it’s a musical!
How can you say no?

3D Horror Movies
Metro Cinema
Friday, 31 October

Creature From The Black Lagoon and It Came From
Outerspace will be showing this Halloween at the
Metro. There’s nothing more entertaining then pick-
ing up some old-timey 3D glasses and kicking back
for a night of hilariously corny monster battling on
the big screen.

Both films are set in the 1950s, feature a rugged
scientist and a beautiful girlfriend; however, Creature
From The Black Lagoon is about a freakish man-
fish and It Came From Outerspace centres around
robotic zombies. The 3D effects are second rate at
best, but only add to the quirky plots and cheap
laughs of these two classic cult horrors.

Theory ofA Deadman
with Forty Foot Echo
Shaw Conference Centre
Friday, 31 October

ie ae

Drunken mainstream-lovers fromall over the citywill
be descending upon the Shaw Conference Center
Friday to take part in a drunken orgy masquer-
ading as a concert/party hosted by “Edmonton’s
Best Rock” station. This year’s edition features aptly-
named Theory of A Deadman, but luckily for you,
you have to win tickets so if you haven't won any
radio contests recently, you're not going.

Although reports could not be confirmed by
press time, rumor has it that Theory of ADeadman’s
lead singer, Tyler Connolly, will be dressing up as
one of his favourite angst-ridden gen-X predeces-
sors (Eddie Vedder, Chris Cornell and Chad Kroeger
have all been mentioned as possibilities).

ERIKA THORKELSON, HEATHER ADLER AND
SEXY DAVE BERRY

Arts & Entertainment Freaks

17

entertainment@gateway.ualberta.ca « thursday, 30 october, 2003

Good Riddance want to say goodbye to
American brawls, mainstream punk

Good Riddance
with guests

Red's

Saturday, 1 November

HEATHER ADLER
Arts & Entertainment Editor

Finely sculpted mohawks fashioned from super-
glue and egg whites might get you a lot of
wayward glances on the street, but rarely does
that punk-rock sensibility turn out to be some-
thing with the momentum to inspire a lifelong
career that takes you on adventures around
the world.

Santa Cruz hardcore act Good Riddance is one
of the rarely chosen few who have made a life for
themselves by entertaining punk-rock kids. And
according to vocalist Russ Rankin, their travels
have given the band a lot more than just an
impressive collection of foreign souvenirs.

“Besides being able to see all these different
places—which itself can really open up shel-
tered Americans like us by seeing different
cultures—we've also met a lot of people who
have the same ideas and views as us,” Rankin
explains. “We've gotten the feeling we are part
of a bigger community, because we've met
people who live in different cultures and speak
different languages, but still share the same
dreams and fears.”

Good Riddance has played in Italy, France,
Belgium, Japan, and the UK, among others,
and Rankin says their adventures have really
expanded the boys’ horizons and changed their
narrow views. “We've really related to a lot of
different people in a deeper way than the media
here in America, where everyone seems really
isolationist, would have us believe we could have.
Here they have a lot of ‘us against them’ mental-
ity, which is total bullshit,” Rankin adds.

Rankin even admits there are things he enjoys
more about “choking back secondhand smoke”
in the European clubs than playing to the kids in
his Western home. “Unfortunately in the States,
and especially in Southern California, shows are
a lot more violent than any place in the world
I've been,” he notes. “Guys have a few too many
adult beverages and decide they want to beat
other people up. We're not okay with being back-

Old clichés ruin new film

l'Auberge Espagnole

Starring Romain Duris, Audrey Tautou,

Cécile De France, Kelly Reilly and Cristina Brondo
Directed by Cédric Klapisch
www2foxsearchlight.com/lauberge

Now playing

ANTHONY EASTON
Arts & Entertainment Writer

In 2002’s Rules of Attraction, a five minute super
sped-up sequence mocked the premise of imme-
diate, sexually-free, drug-laden films with such
chaotic ferocity that it killed off the discover-
yourself-in-Europe genre for quite some time.
Unfortunately, l'Auberge Espagnole has come
along and all of the clichés destroyed by that
sequence have returned.

This movie features a naive good boy finding
himself in another country, a cute multicultural
cast, and the required amount of booze, boobs,
doobs and Bob Marley. On top of all that, there’s
a hot lesbian and a couple of instances of casual
adultery, which make this movie seem vaguely
European, but not European enough to negate
North American crossover potential.

The bare-bones plot features Xavier, a French
student (the sweet and cute Romain Duris)
who escapes from his life with his dull girl-
friend (Audrey Tatou), his absentee father and
his hippie mother (Martine Dermaret) through a
foreign exchange program. Xavier flies to Spain

ane - s 'N

WORLDLY PUNKS The Good Riddance boy

ground music to people fighting.”

Good Riddance made friends with the inde-
pendent punk propagators at Fat Wreck Chords
early in their career, and Rankin admits the label’s
support has played a big role in “affording the
band the opportunity to get out of California and
gain recognition around the world.” Although
their connections have helped the band to make
the most of their modest opportunities, Rankin
says he’s disappointed by the recent influx of
less-than-worthy punk acts breaking big via mass
marketing channels.

“Watching the whole [punk] scene be cap-
tured by the pop industry has been pretty

only to find his arranged apartment in
Barcelona has fallen through, leaving
him with only two acquaintances to
contact: a neurologist and his attrac-
tive wife. Soon he begins search-
ing for a new home and, after a
few darkly comic failed encoun-
ters, stumbles into an old house
filled with an international mix-
ture of apathetic, young screw-
ups. Each of the 20-somethings
speak only in their native tongues—English,
Spanish, German, Danish, and French—which
makes for an eclectic mix of quirky characters.

The rest of the film is basically a depiction of
these middle-class college students taking drugs,
going out, making fun of Americans, arguing
politics in cafés, flirting with bartenders, tour-
ing nearby villages, playing sightseer at tourist
dumps and attending classes. All of their antics
are captured in a frenetic pace which makes
many of the important parts appear like lost
home movies, and throughout, the film uses the
clipped and fast language of bands, club anthems,
consumer goods and amusing mistranslation to
add intrigue to the characters.

The situations the characters get themselves
in are both comedic and unexpected. When
a hot Belgian lesbian (played aggressively by Cecile
De France) moves into Xavier’s room due to lack
of space, he assumes that because they have the
same compact discs, they will fall in love and sleep

(

Se Se ee

s have travelled the world and expanded their minds.

sad,” he remarks. “I think kids that would be
predisposed to aggressive types of music are
having their attention directed rather pointedly
towards a small group of bands that aren’t nec-
essarily the most talented, but just have friends
in the highest places.”

If youre looking for a worldly, vision-expand-
ing experience, check out Good Riddance as they
bring their fiery guitar licks and aggressive brand
of punk up to Canada. Just try not to pummel the
safety pins out of your dance floor neighbours
because, as Rankin reminds, us music gatherings
aren't meant to be “football games disguised as
rock shows.”

together.

The
audience
is bound to
fallinlovewith 2g.
Xavier's awk- i
wardness and inelegance, as much as they
will feel for the incompleteness of his year
spent away from home that only teaches
him how to drink and how to have his
heart broken.

In all, l'Auberge Espagnole has a refreshing,
anti-pop feel going on for it, and the drama of
the house seems as real as the filmmakers could
have made it. But well-performed clichés are still
clichés in the end, and this film fails to move past
them into something more genuine. European
soul-searching just isn’t new to audiences
any more.

18 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

thursday, 30 october, 2003

Sixty Stories take on the beauty myth

Sixty Stories
with guests

Sunday, 2 November
Queen Alex Hall

HEATHER ADLER
Arts & Entertainment Editor

While music videos featuring Britney
Spears and Madonna swapping saliva
have recently raised the hot-musi-
cian-girl bar into new levels of sexi-
ness, it seems not every chick-rocker
is buying into the lip gloss and
mini-skirt ideals of marketing. For
Jo Snyder, lead singer of Winnipeg’s
indie-crooners Sixty Stories, making
music is just about creating some-
thing exceptional for the thrill of
sharing it with others.

“We often joke ‘we'd be more pop-
ular if we are hotter, because if you
look at any girl who’s in a main-
stream band they are always super-
hot,” Snyder laughs. “People expect
more of us physically.”

While the music industry is one
of the guiltiest offenders of prolifer-
ating beauty obsession, Snyder says
her band’s two-thirds female compo-
sition isn’t interested in joining the
cleavage competition. What she has
noticed, however, is the distinct lack
of female songwriters who seem to be
making real music and mixing with
the boys on the scene these days.

“Some people have called us a chick
band from Winnipeg, but we have a
male drummer so we aren't a token
all-girl band or anything,” she com-
ments. “Usually bands will have a
token bass player, or singer, or be
all-girl, but we just fall into a differ-
ent category.” After being involved in
the Canadian scene for several years

|
oo

GIRLS AND BOYS You don’t have to wear hot-pants to be a female musician with something worth saying.

Snyder says she’s observed time and
time again how girls seem reluctant
to mix with boys in real bands in
both the mainstream and popular
indie music.

On Sixty Stories’ latest release,
Anthem Red, Snyder took it upon her-
self to confront some of the effects
media perfectionism have caused.

“I tried to make a narrative around
two high-school girls who were strug-
gling with some issues I wanted
to write about; I tried to make it
sound like a 15-year-old’s diary,” she
explains. “I only dealt with body
issues: eating disorders, image, loneli-
ness, impermanence and all the other
stuff that goes along with being a
young girl.”

Snyder says she saw girls who were
effected by anorexia and bulimia

many people struggling with the crip-
pling diseases today. Her melancholy
messages weave throughout the band’s
loud melodic sound to create daring
portrayals of youth issues.

While Sixty Stories may feel a bit
lonely with their rare feminine line-up,
Snyder remarks that she is happy
with the band’s position in their local
Winnipeg scene. “Before I moved to
Winnipeg, I lived in southern Ontario
in a place close to Toronto, which is
supposed to be such a buzzing hot-
spot, but when I got here it was easier
to plug into the music scene,” she
notes. “It’s big enough that there’s stuff
going on, but small enough that you
can get involved.”

Winnipeg’s isolated locale has meant
the city has had to foster its own arts
community in order to keep entertain-
ment happening. Snyder says part of

, during her adolescence and still sees ing.

CALL FOR NOMINATIONS

Faculty of Arts Teaching Awards

In the interest of recognizing teaching and to encourage teaching of the highest
quality, the Faculty of Arts will present annually the following awards for

undergraduate teaching:

FACULTY UNDERGRADUATE

TEACHING AWARD

SESSIONAL INSTRUCTOR

TEACHING AWARD

Eligibility: Full-time continuing academic
staff with at least five years of full-time
teaching experience at the University of
Alberta

Nominations: One from each department

Number of Awards: Up to three, usually
one to each division of the Faculty

Deadline: January 15, 2004

GRADUATE STUDENT
TEACHING AWARD

Eligibility: Must have taught as graduate
teaching assistants for a minimum of two
academic (four month) terms, which may
include the term in which the nominations
is made

Nominations: Two from each department
Number of Awards: Up to nine

Deadline: February 6, 2004

Eligibility: Temporary academic staff with
at least three years teaching experience
(18 credits) at the University of Alberta

Nominations: Two from each department

Number of Awards: Granted to the three
most deserving nominees in the Faculty
taken as a whole

Deadline: February 6, 2004

Nominations can be made by students,
colleagues and/or department Chairs.
Interested persons should discuss
possible nominations with the appropriate
department Chair well in advance of the
deadline.

G@RTS

ar UNIVERSITY OF

@, ALBERT

Your views are important to us and will be solicited again later in the process with an opportun-

ity, at that time, to meet and question our final short-listed candidates at public forums. Thank

the reason so many big-name bands
begin their careers there is due to
the fact Winnipeg kids simply have
nowhere to go.

“Saskatoon isn’t big at all and
it’s the closest at seven hours away,
Minneapolis is eight hours away and
Toronto is 30 hours away. There’s
nowhere to go, so we have to make
art here,” she asserts. “There isa really
supportive arts community here that
has very high standards and everyone
wants bands to play what they want
and create, but they have to try their
guts out to impress people.”

With a brave attitude and a firm
dedication to not buying into spot-
light beauty pageants, Sixty Stories look
poised to speak up about femininity
in a fresh way that will leave your
toe tapping to their catchy hooks the
entire way.

As you know, Dr. Cook's term as Dean of the Faculty of Rehabilitation Medicine will end on
June 30, 2004 and an advisory Selection Committee has been established in accordance with
University regulations to begin the search for a new Dean.

At this point in its deliberations, the Selection Committee needs your opinions on the leader-
ship needs of the Faculty in the years ahead and any other key issues. Individuals are urged to

contact members of the Committee, or write to me as Chair, to express your views on priorities

of the Faculty, current issues, and the future direction of the Faculty. In order to facilitate the
committee's work, could I please ask that you submit your comments by November 20.

In addition, individuals who may wish to stand as a candidate are invited to apply. Individuals

may also nominate others who they feel would be suitable candidates.

The selection of a Dean is vital to the success of the Faculty. I would therefore ask you all to
take the time, even at this hectic point in the academic year, to give some thought to the future
of your Faculty.

you for your assistance.

Please forward your comments to the address below or to any member of the Dean Selection Committee

(contact information below):

Carl Amrhein

Provost and Vice-President (Academic) and Chair Dean Selection

Committee Faculty of Rehabilitation Medicine
2-10 University Hall, University of Alberta
Edmonton, AB T6G 2J9

E-Mail: provost@ualberta.ca

DEAN SELECTION COMMITTEE MEMBERSHIP

Faculty of Rehabilitation Medicine

Contact Information:

Carl Amrhein 492-3443
Bill McBlain 492-5320
Teresa Krukoff 492-5920
Karen Pollock 492-5980
Michele Crites Battié 492-5968
Paul Hagler 492-9674
Tammy Hopper 492-0836
Robert Lederer 492-6367
Lucia Chen 988-0264
Jaqueline McAllister 433-9606
June Norris 498-3396
Donna Gravelle 413-5023
Anne Lopushinsky 944-1609
Grant Fedoruk 466-1101
Carol Ebert 492-0329

SITE
UNSEEN

http:/www.dolphinsex.org

JAKE TROUGHTON
Arts &Brechtel Writer

It is probably safe to say that most
people have wanted to have sex with a
dolphin, but just didn’t know how to go
about it. Now we can finally learn thanks
to dolphinsex.org, a detailed guide to
mating with our aquatic cousins.

Lessons range from the most basic
(how to tell a male from a female dol-
phin) to somewhat more complex (how
to invite a dolphin to be masturbated).
Each step of the process is explained in
precise detail, including tips for avoiding
injury and disease—for instance, it turns
out that anal sex with a male dolphin is
potentially fatal. Damnit.

More than just a technical guide,
though, the site emphasizes the impor-
tance of forming emotional bonds with
dolphin mates. As always, a loving and
respectful relationship is much more sat-
isfying than a one-night stand, for both
human and dolphin.

The site also includes sections on
goose sex (penetration is a definite
no-no) and necrophilia (focusing mostly
on techniques to safely find a date),
as well as a guide to giving up
masturbation.

After all, you wouldn't want to dis-
appoint the dolphins by keeping it to
yourself.

SELECTION COMMITTEE FOR DEAN OF THE FACULTY OF REHABILITATION MEDICINE

provost@ualberta.ca
bill.mcblain@ualberta.ca
teresa. krukoff@ualberta.ca
karen,pollock@ualberta.ca
michele.battie@ualberta.ca
paul.hagler@ualberta.ca
tammy.hopper@ualberta.ca
rlederer@ualberta.ca
Icchen@ualberta.ca
cmj10@ualberta.ca
june.norris@millardhealth.com
donnagravelle@telus.net
registrar@acslpa,ab,ca
gfedoruk@telusplanet.net

carol,ebert@ualberta.ca

THE GATEWAY ¢ volume XCIII number 16

Alien: Buy it Again Edition opens in
theatres just in time for Halloween

Alien: Director’s Cut

Staring Sigourney Weaver, lan Holm,
John Hurt, Tom Skerritt, Veronica
Cartwright, Harry Brechtel Stanton, and
Yaphet Kotto

Directed by Ridley Scott

DAN KASZOR

Production Editor

Calling this movie Alien: Director's
Cutis a lie: the only thing added from
the original film is a single scene
that’s already on the current DVD
as a deleted scene along with com-
mentary from director Ridley Scott
about exactly why he, and not the
studio, cut it. As such, it would have
been better to call it Alien: Buy it
Again Edition.

This isn’t to say re-releasing land-
mark films back into theatres is nec-
essarily all bad, but it just seems that
this is a cheap ploy, to get people to
buy the Alien Quatrology DVDs that
are supposedly coming out next year
or to go see the upcoming Alien Vs
Predator (which will be trailered with
Alien:DC). Still, Alien is one of the best
horror-monster movies ever released,
and it fits perfectly to have it come out
on Halloween, so you can’t complain
too much.

Alien is the story of the small crew
of the spaceship Nostromo, who are

on their way back to Earth after a
successful mining mission. Awakened
from their cold sleep early, they are
directed toward a small planet that is
giving offa distress signal of unknown
origin. This, of course, leads to much
death and dismemberment.

The key to the film is its slow,
methodical pacing and the overall
phenomenal directing by Ridley Scott.
Scott takes his time setting the charac-
ters up and ramping the tension to an
extreme before doling suspense out in
small, terror-filled shocks.

The directing is paired with a casu-
ally improvisational style of acting, in
which many of the characters speak
in normal conversational tones, some-
times stepping on each other’s lines,
sometimes saying ‘um and ah,’ a touch
of realism which adds to the terror
when their lives are in peril.

Also adding to the overall sense of
uneasiness that the film creates are the
alien designs by HR Giger, which—
from the design of the crashed ship
to the iconic alien himself—give off
a sense of absolute other-worldli-
ness. The viewer gets the feeling that
the realistic people from the human
world of the ship could never com-
municate in a meaningful way with
these life forms.

Unfortunately, Alien hasn’t aged per-
fectly. Although it’s still an excellent

movie, and many people’s favourite
in the diverse series, a lot of the
things that made the film great in 1979
aren't possible anymore. When the
film came out, no one knew what the
alien creature was supposed to look
like, and its dramatic revealing, burst-
ing out of John Hurt’s chest, came

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 19

“” TRICGKOR TREAT

Long after the tremors of pixie-stick
overdoses have worn off the rest of the
world, we here at the Gateway will con-

tinue to rot our teeth out with candy

and terrify little children. Halloween
may come only once a year for every-
one else, but for us every day is a hor-
rific adventure filled with pranks and
rambunctiousness. If you'd like to vol-
unteer for the A&E section, drop by our
office Thursdays at 5pm and get your
spook on each and every day.

as an absolute shock. Additionally, [a

Sigourney Weaver wasn't the biggest
name attached to the film (that would
have been John Hurt, or possibly Tom
Skerritt) and it wasn’t common knowl-
edge that she would survive to make
several sequels. The fact that charac-
ters didn’t get killed in reverse credits
order, as in many horror films, cre-
ated an environment of uneasiness;
the viewer never knew who was going
to die next.

It’s strange that the powers at
Fox didn’t re-release James Cameron’s
Aliens instead of the original. The
sequel was more action-oriented,
segues into Alien vs Predator far
better, hasn’t aged nearly as much as
Alien and has a substantial special
edition which hasn’t been released
in theatres.

Whatever Fox’s intentions, Alien is
still a masterwork of pacing, design,
directing and acting. If serious mon-
ster movies are your thing, this is one
of the best, and well worth seeing on
the big screen.

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Tuesday, November 4, 5 pm

MACEWAN OPEN HOUSE

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THE GATEWAY

ANY EXCUSE TO DRESS IN DRAG SINCE 1910

WHAT’S ON THE CaPS BROWN BAG LUNCH MENU?

They’re FREE, you don’t have to pre-register and they all take place over the noon hours at
CaPS, 2-100 SUB. They're our brown bag lunch seminars designed to give you valuable tips
for career decision making and finding work that matches your career choices.

Negotiating & Evaluating Job Offers
Mon., Nov. 3, 2003; 12:05 — 12:50 p.m.

Strategies for Tapping the Hidden Job Market

Tue., Nov. 4, 2003; 12:35 — 1:20 p.m.

Career Tips for First Year Students
Wed., Nov. 5, 2003; 12:05 - 12:50 p.m.

Labour Market Trends & Research
Thu., Nov. 6, 2003; 12:35 = 1:20 p.m.

Making Career Fairs Work for You!
Fri., Nov. 7, 2003; 12:05 — 12:50 p.m.

Putting Your B.Ed. to Work Outside of the Classroom
Thu., Nov. 13, 2003; 12:35 - 1:20 p.m.

Cover Letters & Other Work Search Letters
Tue., Nov. 18, 2003; 12:35 — 1:20 p.m. OR
Mon., Nov. 24, 2003; 12:05 - 12:50 p.m.

Summer Work Search

Wed., Nov. 19, 2003; 12:05 - 12:50 p.m.

Using the Internet to Find Work
Thu., Nov. 20, 2003; 12:35 - 1:20 p.m.

Electronic/Scannable Resumes
Tue., Nov. 25, 2003; 12:35 — 1:20 p.m.

Looking for Work as a Substitute Teacher
Wed., Nov. 26, 2003; 12:05 - 12:50 p.m.

After each seminar, you may purchase a copy of the presentation slides for $2.00.
Check out the web site for
a listing for the next term. CAPS

www.ualberta.ca/caps us

Y He FIRST COLLECTION
OF A Comic STRIP
THAT WAS FEATURED IN
THE PRESTIGIOUS
NEWSPAPER.

THE GATEWAY!

a HEN! HAVE You
BOUGHT A Copy OF
CIGARRO & CERVETA:

ROUND 1?

AND D’YoU
WANNA HEAR THE
BEST PART?

THERE'S A DRAWING
OF ME ON PRACTICALLY
EVERY PAGE

td

Find more of Cigarro in
Cigarro e- Cervaa: Round 1

located in the humor section of the

U of A Bookstore

B

thursday, 30 october, 2003

() ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Loon

Self-titled

Bad Boy Records
wwwloon140.com

TAIN ILICH
Arts & Entertainment Writer

Though not a bad exercise in formula-
driven popular rap, Loon’s debut album
still sounds too much like a standard
issue P Diddy production, with his annoy-
inginterjectionsand pointless interludes

Grand Champ
DefJam Records
www.dixonline.com

CHRIS O’LEARY
Arts & Entertainment Writer

DMX is a lot like that four litres of milk
you've got in your fridge. Not the one
up front, but that one in the back that
you forgot about. When you bought it

appearing throughout the disc. But, with
moments of fairly catchy loops, beats
and hooks, this album almost redeems
itself (the constant hollering of “Bad
Boy” notwithstanding). Loon’s rapping
is fairly sloppy and his lyrics aren't par-
ticularly brilliant, but the resulting prod-
uct is thankfully better than the sum of
its parts.

Unfortunately, when Loon isn’t rap-
ping about finding a woman to love
and settle down with, he’s rambling on
about being a player, pimping, and hus-
tling; he keeps yammering about being
raised in Harlem, as though this gives
him some kind credibility. Inevitably, it
all just seems so put on, so shallow, and
so hypocritical it’s hard to give this disc
a serious listen. With a little something
for the ladies, and a little something for
the wannabe thug, this album is appar-
ently more about covering all the rap
bases in hopes of pleasing everyone a
little bit than making meaningful music.

(the milk, or his first couple of CDs), you
thought it was good, but just forgot
about it. As days turned into weeks,
weeks to months and months to years, it
completely slipped your mind. Then one
day you're cleaning out your fridge, and
you see something way in the back. Even
though you know better, you open it up
and catch a whiff of what’s inside. What
was once delicious milk has stagnated,
and it almost makes you sick.

This, essentially is DMX’s problem: in
‘98 his gravelly voice and catch phrases
were fresh. Almost six years later, DMX
has stayed exactly the same and gone
truly sour. Grand Champ is full of DMX’s
trademark growls, whats, barks, and
come-ons, but so are all of his other
albums. Grand Champ offers nothing
new, and even the hardest of DMX’s die-
hard fans are going to struggle to find
something worthwhile on this CD.

IF YOU ONLY LEARN
ONE THING AT SCHOOL...

The Neckers bring unpolished anarchy to

Edmontons stages, hate on Sam Roberts

Calgary loogans to play a Halloween show with
The Vertical Struts and spread their silliness

The Neckers

With The Vertical Struts
Saturday, 1 November
Seedy’s

JOEL CHURY
Sports Editor

“Sam Roberts can suck a big fat dick,”
chuckles Bil Heatherington, frontman
of Calgary’s The Neckers. “Nothing
personal to Sam Roberts, but I don't
really think that Canada needs another
fucking Our Lady Peace. Not that
their music is that similar but, the
idea of glossed-up Canadian rockers is
the same.”

It seems Heatherington isn’t too
fond of pretentious Canuck rock, and
that’s just one of the many reasons
The Neckers have become infamous
in their Calgary hometown: their
post-modern punk sounds and their
outlandish onstage antics have made
them local celebrities, and now they're
bringing their attitude to Edmonton.

Though their upcoming show lands
the day after Halloween, Bil isn’t pre-
paring to change his look on stage.
“Well, for Halloween, I think I’m
going to dress up like an undercover
cop,” says Heatherington, “Which
means I’m not going to dress up
at all.” Though a costumed masquer-
ade isn’t in the plans, Bil and his
bandmates promise not to disappoint.
“We're hoping for a kickass dance
party,” projects Heatherington. “We

= Student Calling Program

now hiring

Student
Callers

Our focus is on building

relationships with alumni across

like Edmonton, and we find that every-
one there likes to have drinks.”

With their surfer punk chords, doo-
wop background vocals, and Bil’s
hyperactive singing antics and earnest
lyrics, the Neckers have weaseled their
way into the collective hearts of the
Albertan music scene after releasing
their debut album, A Whole Mess Of
Trouble. “Right now I suppose we're
influenced by garage rock, the Rolling
Stones, British invasion, and ‘70s rock
and roll,” adds Bil.

“We played a couple of
weeks ago and some
guy that just got out
of jail was there that
wouldn't stop grabbing
my, uhh... my problem
area.”

BIL HEATHERINGTON

Which brings us back to Sam Roberts
and his glossed-over presentation. Bil
doesn't say that The Neckers are exactly
the antithesis of the packaged look of
the boys from OLP or the ruggedly hip
Roberts, but image is certainly one of
their lowest priorities. “We just write
songs and I don’t think we look too
pretty,” says Bil. “I mean, we're not
trying to look ugly and maybe if we
were good looking we'd be like, “Hey

we're good looking, let’s get on Much
Music,’ but we aren't.”

“We did a music video once,” Bil
adds. “We did it on beta. We took
some shots, with a few of our buds in
there, kind of partying and us running
around in a school field.” The min-
imalist video accompanies the single
“Don't Want to Worry” which is on
the yet-to-be-released album. But even
without the music video, Bil’s inter-
actions with his audience are starting
to become just as entertaining as any
video viewing could be. “We played
a couple of weeks ago and some guy
that just got out of jail was there that
wouldn’t stop grabbing my, uh ... my
problem area,” mutters Heatherington.
“T wasn't sure what to do about that,
because I’ve never had a guy try to do
that before.”

Though the concept of avoiding con-
vict love was new to the front man,
dealing with a female fan during the
same show was more routine. “Once
this girl kept trying to grind with me
on stage, but my girlfriend was there
front row centre, so I just kept trying
to dance around her, so that I wouldn't
get in trouble,” Bil laughs. “That was a
weird night.”

But, for all the craziness that ensues
around the band, Bil still claims there
is some method to his musical madness
and a reason for why he hates success-
ful songsters so much. “I don’t know,
I was only kidding about the suck-
a-big-fat-dick thing to Sam Roberts,”
rescinds Heatherington. “He tried to
make out with my girlfriend at a show
before I started seeing her, therefore
I'm biased.”

NETWORK AT A CaPS CAREER FORUM

Catch a career forum to hear from a panel of guest speakers about how they put
their degrees to work in a specific industry. Spend time networking afterwards!

Earth & Atmospheric Sciences

Tuesday, November 4, 2003, 5 - 7 p.m.; Rm TB 87

Guest speakers from:
-Alberta Geological Survey
-City of Edmonton

-Canadian Society of Petroleum Geologists

-Stantec
-Summus Resource Evaluation

Biological Sciences

Wednesday, November 5, 2003, 5 - 7 p.m.; Rm BS M 145

-Alberta Agriculture
-Alberta Innovation & Science

-Canadian Parks and Wilderness Society
-Ecomark

Canada and the United States. -RCMP

Ove

Student Callers contact alumni Environmental & Conservation Sciences

Thursday, November 6, 2003, 5 - 7 p.m.; Rm CAB 265
-Alberta Environment

-Komex

-Parks Canada

-Pembina Institute

-Weyerhaeuser

to encourage them to invest in

WE HOPE IT IS THE
VALU E OF A DOLLAR
fete Friend, Mond tie

the University of Alberta.

submit a cover letter

Nutrition & Food Sciences

Tuesday, November 18, 2003, 5 - 7 p.m.; CAB 243
-Alberta Milk

-Canadian Food Inspection Agency

-U of A Hospital & more

and resume to:
scpsupet@ualberta.ca
fax: 492.1862

NY Ww giving ualberta.ca/scp

®toweretant THE GATEWAY /rett

room at the top

Admissions

z,, For $3

EXPIRES November 30, 2003
no reproductions-no cash value
valid anytime-2 admissions per coupon

Tickets at CaPS: $3.00; $10.00 at door

CAPS

Career and Placement Services

Check out the web site for a listing
for the entire academic year. &

www.ualberta.ca/caps Me

THE GATEWAY ¢ volume XCIII number 16 ADVERTISEMENT 1
A Powerplant Halloween with

RTY FOOT ECHO

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advance tix $10 — *,
available @ The Powerplant, HUB, SUB, CAB info desks Oya

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SIC.
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MOLSON:

A Service of Your Students’ Union For Students, Staff, Alumni and their Guests MAKE IT MIKES

22 COMICS

thursday, 30 october, 2003

BLACKOUT by Chris Krause and Jen Koskela

fy, ENGu Ty” & ny

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Arts / Business / Native Studies

Ag, For & HE / Science
Engineering

Education / Law / PE & Rec. / Pharmacy
Medicine & Dentistry / Nursing / Rehab Medicine

LATER THAT EVENING...

MAN, DAY LI G@HT SAVINGS TIME Has
HB REALLY MESsED_LTHIS Guy uP:

| 4 WEEK EARLIER...

Now GO WATCH
: (KILL «BILL,

: : i
= = SS
Ste

sot a beef?

come give it to your Students’ Council
representative face to face. find out what
your Students’ Union is working on. express
your issues. have your voice heard.

Wednesday, November 5th
12:00pm

Tory B-96
CAB 269
Mech. Eng. 2-3

Education 129 \N

Corbett Hall 239

UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA

THE GATEWAY ¢ volume XCIIJ number 16

Comics 92

SPACE CAT by Fish Griwkowsky

Se | gol drafted into
‘cleaning duty" by the
gost lady end “secret”
Vast mats. |

w\ nia

al

we live here

aL

1C290.

Kes one of those classic “lors i
\lenus situations. She resents

my collection of 01229 boxes and
rail ot Filky 5 \ Kesent her having
Iny Emotions in the first lacey

THE SEX BOYS by Mike Winters

THE SEX BOYS

Pa

YOU KNOW WHAT SENDS CHILLS DOWN MY
= PINE IN THE MIDDLE OF
. E NIGHT?

TO BE LOVED BY
THESE HANDS.....

RANCID WIT by Dave Leriger

RANCID WIT
Episode 15: "Thinking About Lunch" |

iy m “] caskle

when there's some

SEES YN
IT’S THAT I’LL NEVER KNOW...

»/ OR THESE ROCK HARD NIPPLES THAT \am |
E CAN KEEP COAT HANGERS PERFECTLY |
Bi SUSPENDED IN PLACE...

NEXT
| STAR!
a

OKAY, HERE GOES...

Listen. you really have
to focus your mind, sir.

LT mean, we forgive it

on
TV..

RUBIES *BOORILS..

\"

Ht was mostly Juki
deo. The wins most
Wid behind Sue ond
Said “Uesly* 9 lob.

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my own) boobies,
f Course -—

I'LL NEVER REALLY KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE

TO BE LOVED BY THIS FANTASTIC BODY...

WE CHECK OUT THE STEAMIER
SIDE OF MARDI GRAS WITH
WILD ON’S CINDY TAYLOR

1, ee

..AND WATCH WHAT YOU CAN
DO IF YOU THINK HARD ENOUGH...

OY CRAP! LET ME TRY!

All it takes is some
concentrated mental effort, sir.

~ S)

Si! WHATEVER.
: y econ ENOUGH.

CLASSIFIEDS thursday, 30 october, 2003
WIL u

Boldly go where no blog has gone before

To place aclassified ad, please call
Information Services at 492-4212

FOR SALE

Smith Corona 5CPWP3000 Personal word
processor, has manual,correctable film ribbon,
$170. 432-2202
| King Size Mattress/Box. Extra Thick
Orthopedic double Pillowtop. NEW. Cost
$1800; Sacrifice $595. Queen Size Mattress/
Box. Orthopedic LUXURY PLUSH Pillowtop.
EW Cost $1000; Sacrifice $345. Can deliver.
720-6613

WANTED

| Roommate wanted. 115 St.76 Ave. Heat/Water
included, power shared. NS/NP. $360/mo. Call
Tanelle 920-6853.

We've moved!
to theWhyte Avenue side of College Plaza

complete eye glasses purchase

Volunteers who have not had a flu shot are
required for a study to investigate the effects
of COLD-FX on the prevention of a common
cold. Contact: 492-2947 or drop by Room
#4-4 Ag/Forestry Building.

SERVICES
KJ's Typing Service. Offers typing services
to meet all your need. 416-2623

kjstyping@hotmail.com
JAPANESE DRUMMING, BEGINNER

‘ é €® S - Sg aa S WORKSHOPS Share in this rigorous,
p f i ¢ | choreographed activity for fun or potential

: va : / : : J iw = Y membership with Kita No Taiko. Wed, 12

’ ~ Si 5 : a or 26 Nov (evening); Sun, 23 Nov (daytime);

z - : Mon, 24 Nov (evening). $40. Minimum age
14. Ph 431-0300; email: knt@ecn.ab.ca;
CKI Volunteer Club ) ee
The U of A CKI Volunteer Club acts as a volunteer service by P| ANNOUNCEMENTS
Study Medicine isi i

setting-up a calendar of different one-time event volunteering sheoles re pc Soe eee ete
projects with dozens of different non-profits, and students can just echnal es

pick and choose what they want to volunteer for, when they have

a time. Each year, hundreds of university students volunteer EMPLOYMENT - FULL TIME

. . ! i i
through CKI, and we contribute thousands of hours to projects, ee d Pie ihe ena

on campus and around Edmonton. e fi ili f t aneaeinenh
Space IS THINS Up ras oto ae

We organize dances, camping trips, and monthly socials for our

i j ; EMPLOYMENT - PART TIME
members. We provide scholarships to encourage volunteerism, — -
. . . . Opportunity is ringing! Someone gets paid
and fund travel to regional and international leadership fot Semvices We Use everyday why not your?
conferences. We have also initiated a number of different high- Unlimited earning potential, work your own
profile fundraisers — the annual CKI Topless Carwash raises hours, minimum investment. Call Neva @
hundreds of dollars for the Cross Cancer Institute, and our annual B 662-4503.

CKI Christmas Gift Wrap raises over three thousand dollars Les Saisons Lingerie in West Edmonton Mall

A is looking for an energetic, hard working and
annually for Edmonton’s Bissel Centre. =, Se oe 5.
riendly university student to work evenings

and Sundays. If his sounds like you, call Nicole
This year is a milestone for CKI, because we are making the at 444-4992 for more details or drop off a
transition from a club that serves only our 100+ something paid resume.
members, towards an organization that will provide a free service Don't let student loan burn a hole in

available to all university students. To do this, the CKI executive We beat all web fares, guaranteed* Your pecker stake of these deh welain

. blue, and leave university debts free. Tel:
and board (all U of A students) are working hard to secure 1-(913) 385-6376 alae acne OveHIEW:
government funding, as well as to restructure our organization to “TRA

eu SUB, U of A 492-2592 Contact Jaimie at 465-7468.

accommodate the increased workload. See the world your way PERSONALS

CHARLES SKIPWORTH THE THIRD

Brotight to = by dbo becca *Some conditions apply. Contact us for more details. Travel CUTS is owned & operated by the Canadian Federation of Students. Edmonton’s Coolest Party Line!!! Meet New
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what are your interests?

Computer sciences tutor available, any
undergraduate computer sciences course,
reasonable rate; englishone@telus.net.

International Students: Assistance with
written English. Alldocuments: letters, papers,
reports, applications, theses. Friendly, flexible
service. Anneh 477-5474

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Well, it’s snowing. And | presume it will still
be snowtastic on All Hallow's Eve. All of you
guys should stop complaining. When | was a
kid it snowed every Halloween. Lots of great
costumes were ruined by heavy coats.

there are over 300 student groups on campus...

there is one for you!

Travel The World & Get Paid to:

Teach English
Overseas:

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* Faculty Association

* Residence Associations

¢ Sports Groups

* Fraternities

* Political/Special Interest Groups
* Academic/Departmental

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Student
Group Services = Publié Service
* Ethnic/Religious/Cultural

O40W SUB « 492-9789
www-.su.ualberta.ca/student groups ¢ clubs@su.ualberta.ca